Friday, December 30, 2011

My Dog Ate My Homework!!

Puppies will be puppies.

They are naughty as they learn their ranking in the pack.

They teeth so they chew.... everything!  Including holes through the carpet into the floor boards, sigh.

Thing is I am thinking that at 8 months old the teething should be pretty much finished... no?
Perhaps it is, or perhaps it is not..... in any case Rigby chews a lot.   It is pretty much non-stop in our house.

 He chews while hanging on the couch.

           He chews outside in the yard.   
                                                                                                He chews anywhere!!!!

Problem though isn't so much with the chewing, as long as he is chewing things that are human approved, the trouble lies in that when he is finished chewing he will actually swallow the item!!

I am qute worried about our Rigby.  Having a constant watch on what he is pooping and how much.  This dog has swallowed small chew bones, socks, mittens, strips of material, sticks, pieces of stuffed animals, bottle caps..... well you name it is has been swallowed!

I do feed my dogs... really I do.

So, if I ever tell you I've lost something because my dog ate it... believe me, he probably did!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

'Tis the Season

He was safe.

Her arms encircled him holding him tight. 
Keeping him warm and happy.

All he ever knew was this place.
With her.
As long as they were together everything would be right in his world.

The days were getting hectic, so much was going on around him.
It was confusing, but okay as long as she stayed within his sight.
Changes were always taking place in his world, and this was no exception. 
The house took on a new atmosphere with new sights and new smells to engulf him in his small world, and although changes can be scary this was kind of exciting.  
So much to explore.

The day started off as any other.
Breakfast with the love of his life, bathing, getting dressed, you know the normal beginnings to any normal weekend.  On this particular day they were heading out to somewhere new.

So many people, so many sounds.
Keeping her in his sight he took in everything with wonder.

Then without any warning he was pulled away from the only comfort he had ever known and was thrust into some strange mans arms.
A man with hair that covered most of his face, a large man, a strange man.
Panic set in.
NO! This could not be happening, he wanted.. no.. he NEEDED to be back in the safety of his own world.  He struggled but to no avail, he was not able to escape.  Realizing this he did the only thing he knew of... he cried, and he cried hard.
Someone would have to save him, put him back into the arms of the one and only.
His mother.

JJ's first Christmas picture with Santa.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


What the hell???

I am up early (what's new??) .. way too early.
Sitting here stewing over things that normally do not bother me.

Finally Hubby and the puppies awake and it's time to go out with the big kids for our morning walk/run play time.
I head up stairs to get changed into my play clothes and burst into tears.

Sitting on the edge of the bed I ask myself why... why in shits sake are you blubbering like a baby????!!!??
....and I answer myself with "I don't wanna go outside with the dogs!! I go out every day, morning and night, it's not fair that I have to go out every day!!"  There is a definite whine to my voice.

Getting up and wiping tears from my face I go and tell Ray he and the furry kids are on their own today.  I just am not going out.
Then I burst into tears again.

What in the world????

I haven't had to deal with these emotions flooding my system in months... I seem to have been on a good swing lately. 

Oh the joys of PMSing ... when will I stop this already?
I'm never gonna have anymore kids!
I'm old enough already for this to stop and go away already!

Fuck it... where's the chocolate???  WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?!!??
NO!! Wait... I don't want chocolate... I want... I want... crap! I don't know what I want....

oh bloody hell... here comes those tears again!!

Take me to my Happy Place!!

I've recently encountered someone who doesn't like me.

In fact I think this person down right loathes me.

Normally this sort of thing doesn't bother me, I'd shrug my shoulders and carry on.  After all in life not everyone is going to like every person.  I know I've met those whom I didn't care for and wouldn't want to spend time with.

This time however it does affect me in a personal way.  I don't want to go into details, but due to this hate on they have for me it has changed the way I do business in this particular field.  
That is what has bothered me.  The fact that I've let it change what I do.

An anger is building up inside me and I want to run down the streets with a bullhorn and let everyone know what they have been doing. I know things that only a couple of us know... a secret that could damage them in a huge way.
I want to.  But I wont.
That is not me..... and knowing who I am I know this negative feeling will pass, I will find it in my heart to let it go.

It has to happen because this anger is like poison in my body and I hate the feeling of it coursing through my veins.
Life is too short to feel so much enmity.

Still it bugs me to no end that this arse can get away with what they do.  I suppose soon enough they will be seen by others for what they really are on their own and will not need help from me.

So in the meantime I shall continue to breath in and out.
Close my eyes and go to my happy place.
snow, mountains, dogs, good friends, clear cool crisp skies.... my happy place.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

It's MY Party

This is my blog... and I can talk about whatever I want.

So I am gonna bitch.

There is this pet peeve of mine, and it has to do with facebook most specifically, however it does pertain to other sites, such as twithead and tumblr and the likes.

It drives me beyond batty when I see simple grammar or spelling mistakes.

I get the posts that the author is raving and angry beyond seeing a straight line anymore... they spit out their venomous words without thinking rationally or clearly... so those I will forgive.  However I forgive them only for the errors in their ways of grammatical shame, not for attacking an acquaintance publicly for something that should be dealt with on a private level.

No, it is those simple errors that drive me to distraction.  I am one who will re-read a post to make sure that it is correct, and if I do make a mistake and catch it I will go back and fix it.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect in any way.  I have made my share of mistakes as well.  It is those who continually make mistakes that I want to hunt down and shake.

The biggest frustration I have is in those who publicly post that they have a problem... and then do another public cry for others to leave them alone.
You know the ones...  "FML!!!  I could kill the beotch!!"   The following comments read... "what's up?"  or "are you okay?" or "what is happening?".. to which the person whose life is so messed up due to another then replies.... "none of your business!!!" and/or "leave me alone!!"

Um hello stupid... you've just made a public announcement and others are worried or curious.. YOU started it in the first place.
If it IS no ones business then it shouldn't be splashed across the Internet in the first place!

There I've said my piece.. I feel much better now.

Time to go and put teh dawgs in they're bed so that thay can sleeping now.... (see?? doesn't that just drive you nuts??!!)

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Very Long Day

1. Two puppies
2. Two puppies who are still being housebroken with about 3 accidents a day
3. Two puppies who have had surgery
4. Two puppies who have healed well, but their bellies are shaved clean and they have no protection against cold or wet
5. An older female who for some reason is angry at the female puppy since returning home
6. Same female who cried all night as her puppies slept in the house.
7. Two puppies who are intent on destroying my house
8. Female puppy who as decided to make another hole in my living room carpet.
9. Human who was kept awake all night, not by puppies but by Hubby who snored all night long
10. Human who is grumpy with lack of sleep and little to no patience for the day.

All these added up equals a very long day.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thank you for the Snow, but...

Did I do something to piss you off?

Going along in my daily doings.   Trying to not say the wrong thing.  Minding my own.

First the tranny on my truck acts up again.  A fix it job that is not a cheap one thank you very much.
Then the winds hit, big ones that rip the roof off of our portable.
The portable that holds our straw,  dry bedding for the dogs, various sheets of wood for Hubby's shop, window frames, my dog sleds and scooter among other misc. items that are put inside for a reason.

So what does it do over night? 
It snows.
This was not in the forecast otherwise I would have covered everything and not wait until the weekend when hubby was home.

And now the yard is going to be wet and muddy as the next few days are suppose to be nice and sunny.

Why should that bother me?
Well the puppies are going to the vet today to be Spayed and Neutered and will live in the house for the weekend while they heal, at least Elly will be.
This means that they will be in and out to go pee, constantly, as we are still house training.
 My poor floor.

I can hear some of you snow haters out there... "geez, shut up and enjoy, you're the one who wishes for this crap!"
Yeah, yeah.. I know.. but it's not like there is enough for a trail and it's not like it's gonna stay with the warmer temps in the near future.
And besides... I feel like whining okay?

So I ask again.

What did I do to piss you off?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

of Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

Well.. okay.. no snakes or snails... but we did have 5 puppy dog tails in our house today.

I was questioned the last couple days about having outdoor dogs in the weather that we have had the last few days and knowing there is more on the way this season.
Yesterday afternoon and at times with wind chill we had it at -32

I am a blue person.. and for those who know their 'Colours' they will understand... but the shortened version of the meaning is that I have to explain myself in order to make others happy... or not upset with me.

Our pups are Huskies.. dogs that have been bred to live in extreme temperatures.  They grow the most wonderful under coats this time of the year.  Even if they look like their hair is short, it is thick. Trust me, when they are blowing their coat in spring there is a LOT of hair.  They have a thicker coat then most other breeds of dog, made up of a dense cashmere-like undercoat and a longer, coarse top coat that is water repellent.
And a lot of literature says that they are able to withstand temperatures of -50 to -60.

Rocky's winter coat is coming in nicely

 However that being said, I would like my babies to be comfortable and 'trained' to come indoors on dark winter nights.  Especially on those evenings that my hubby is away.

So we begin indoor training along with the outdoor training related to dog sledding. 

However our babies still live outside and although they are sporting the best fur coats around they do have at their disposal straw lined dog boxes.  Penny's house is long with a side door and she can be found curled up in the doorway with her face peaking out keeping an eye on those naughty puppies.

And I will say this.... cold or otherwise... we have a small pack of happy pups.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Flu 1 Lunch 0

Laying very still... hidden beneath blankets


We.  Don't.  Want.  It.  To.  Know.  We're.  Here.

Lay very still.
Silence... that is good... perhaps I will sleep a bit.

No, damn it!! It senses us here.. it smells, I know it does.
Lay still.
See?  I think it has been fooled..

Slowly I sit up and take in my surroundings.
Wow.  It's been some time I think.  Looks as if a scatter bomb has gone off around me, how could I not have noticed?

I move a bit,  I do honestly think it has gone, left me for good I hope.
A smile slowly creeps across my face.  This is good, time for a celebration.
Knowing this could be a trick I keep the festivities small and am grateful I have done so.

Without warning it slams me from behind, spinning me around.
The room continues to spin.


It's useless...

The flu has won.

This time..... when my strength returns it wont be so lucky.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My Empty Nest is Rather Full

Both my babies have moved away... and far away at that.
My girl is in Nova Scotia and my boy is in Ontario.

It hurts my heart to know they are so far away. 
I miss them so very much.

People always say to me when they find out that both the kids are gone away, "wow, a true empty nester eh?"  
Then they always add.. "your life has changed, you can go away whenever you want, do whatever you want" 

No, no I can't.

We filled our empty nest with furry kids.
Furry needy children that may as well be toddlers.  Naughty toddlers.
I cannot head to the city after work without making sure the 'kids' are going to be taken care of.
Weekends away... impossible.  Without someone staying at the house.. or sending the 'kids' to a dog kennel.. or bringing them all with us.
Even a night out is planned so that evening dog chores are taken care of first.

I have missed events because we have had no one to play and feed the dogs or they have forgotten and we have had to rush home.

However, we wanted the furry kids.. and I don't regret the tie down we are facing.  The love they give back and the joy I experience when I'm with them.. the fun we have every winter on skis and sled all makes up for a lost night out.   As for a weekend away, going to dog sled races is so much fun and the people we meet are amazing... dog people always are.

Yet I have recently discovered one aspect that I am not enjoying.
The ability to be sick in bed.
To be able to stay in bed or on the couch curled up in my fleece blankets and hide away from the world is broken when the late afternoon rolls around.   I then drag myself from my foggy world, pull on as much winter gear as possible to head out with the 'kids' .. I am greeted with love, kisses and hugs which makes up for it a tiny bit... so I have made up my mind... I am just not going to get sick again. 

I have no time for it anyway.   And I really missed being at work with the kids.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Calling in Sick

The room tips to the side leaving me off balance and having to grab hold of the table.

Is it just me or is the air heavy weighing me down making it hard to hold my head up?  I give up and sink into the couch.  However the chair threatens to tip as the room continues to ignore all rules of gravity as it slides precariously to the left...... oh, but now it suddenly changes direction giving the feeling of being in a boat on turbulent waters.

Sea sickness takes hold.  Much energy is used to keep from racing to the bathroom.
I lay down and close my eyes hoping to block out the rocking of my world.
Only this makes it worse.
I sit up straight instead my vision trained on the horizon which at this moment is the living room wall.  Solid and unmoving.  Better.  If only a little.

As I focus on the other side of the room I get a sense of leaving my body. The room is larger I'm sure of it, as well I've sunk lower into the blankets I am sitting on.. heavier?  Floating above me, feeling so far away that even sounds take on a hollow muffled tone.  Yet the sounds have a sharpness to them that cut to very core of me echoing within my head.

 I turn my attention inwards and train my attention to my body which tingles as though there are live wires attached under the skin.  At first this feeling is actually a nice one, almost calming, but the longer I concentrate on the sensation the more it intensifies causing me to break out in a sweat and wishing for it to stop.

I give in to the swaying motion of the room and lay down pulling the blankets up over my head.
Sleep has to cloak me soon, it just has to.

Then tomorrow I will wake up and be a brand new person ready to head to work one of my favorite places to be..... please?

Friday, November 11, 2011

What to do? What to do?

"That's me"

Suppose you could chock it down to that simple two word sentence.

Simple?  Sadly no.

I'm so confused and need some help trying to figure things out.  Perhaps help is just in writing my words down or hearing what others think and sorting my thoughts this way.. or it could be I need a light to go off and a terrific 'ah ha!!' to pounce upon me one morning.
In any case I just have no idea what I should do.

I thought I knew, right up until driving home on my own with only my thoughts running through my head.
A sudden realization hit me, one that has changed what I should or shouldn't do.

I have this most amazing job, one that has left me with the feeling of winning the lottery.  Everything about the job is perfect.
So then why am I looking at leaving in the fall to head out and begin something new?
Yes it would lead me to doing something that would end up being perfect..... or would it?

I would be leaving this wonderful job... and although I could be back (hopefully) to do my practicum, I doubt I would end up working here... and I personally know 2 in this profession that are not doing what they want as there just is no work in this area.
AND I would be 4 years older, which is old to be heading out into a new career.

So now I'm back to square one, where I sat almost 10 years ago... only now I'm 10 years older.

Should I just upgrade?  Get the learning bug out of me this way?  And stay in my perfect job?
Should I throw caution to the wind and move on? 

Arrrgggg.... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm so confuzzled.

Oh Holey Hole

Again I ask.... Whose idea was it to get puppies again???
It may not be big, but either is Elly.... silently she chewed a hole through the carpet and into the flooring underneath.   She is lucky that this is the 'boot room/ laundry room' and not the living room.

Busy creatures they are, always on the go.. never sleeping anymore or so it feels like.

But I love 'em both and cannot wait to run them ... soon!!

"Look Hubba I'm like one of the big kids now!!"
The kids were fitted for harnesses today, *sniff* they are growing up!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My Mushy Life

I have no idea where my emotions come from.
Why one day I can be totally immersed in self pity and depression and the next giddily happy.
So I just shrug my shoulders and carry on.

At this point in my life I am mushily (ooh.. get the sledding jargon thrown in there?) happy.

With all that I deal with in my depression that cloaks me from time to time you would think it would be hard to be so mushy (can you tell it is almost winter?).

Both my kids live so far away... my baby boy wont be home for the holidays... we owe way too much money... my trucks clutch is acting up again... the dog boxes are not ready for winter... money needed for my upcoming house is messy again...moving Hubby's shop, yes still...dealing with gv't issues...the 'building'... my kids living so far away (oh I said that one already).. sigh, my kids living so far away...

Looking at my list I must say, besides my kids living so far away, there isn't really anything on there that is dreadful enough for depression...  well... okay it would be nice to not be in debt anymore.. but again I shrug my shoulders to a resounding 'meh'

I enjoy being mushily (hehe) happy for a change.... and I blame a few things on this...

My hubby
My kids
My job
My family (all of you)
Friends (although I haven't seen many of you lately)
My dogs

My future

I'm okay...really I am.... this is my life and it's great!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Life has changed this last 6 months.
All because of puppies.

Naughty puppies.

Nothing is mine anymore, it belongs to the puppies.
And if they have the opportunity they will make sure that no one can have what it is they claim as theirs by destroying it in record time.

Rigby the 'boy' is strong and fast.  Walking him has become a challenge, especially now that there is ice on the roads.  It is time to suit him up in a harness and run him.
If dogs are able I do believe that he has ADHD.  It is physically impossible for him to sit still, even to be hugged, petted and cuddled.  He loves attention and craves the contact between himself and whatever human is present, but can barely stand still to receive it.
But smart.  This furry kid is at the top of his class.
He knows his commands, and sits when told (especially if food is involved).  Knows how to opens doors, and I believe even unlocked the kennel the other day.
He also loves to play ball with us.  The only dog that has ever brought back a ball and dropped it at our feet so that we could throw it for him to chase, again and again and again.

Elly (Eleanor) a petite little girl who loves to cuddle and snuggle in your lap.   Her face is so small and delicate reminding me of a deer (my hubby says she reminds him of a rat, but he doesn't love her like I do).
She would play ball with her brother except for the fact that she was run into twice by the bigger dogs and has decided that it is no fun anymore.
The cry that came from her with the contact made you would have thought she was on deaths door.
Elly cries wolf often when play time gets too rough for her making me believe that she is in extreme pain and has been seriously wounded.
However it is okay for her to attack the others and inflict pain and suffering on them.  She's such a girl!

I love my puppies and cannot wait to get them out on the trails with their bigger buddies.

Oh the adventures we will have...... bring on the snow!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Looking Ahead

I feel a change coming upon me.

A BIG change at that.

I am so happy right now in the space that I am in.   It is a bright and cheerful place.
No matter which direction I take, or what door I open I am always greeted with a smile.
Happiness and joy fill my heart on a daily basis.

So why have I been drawn to the door at the end of the long LONG hallway that is stretched out before me?
It will eventually lead me back to this happy place, and actually I wont really be leaving my space totally just sort of putting it to the side for the moment.

However there are unknowns behind this door... and lots of hard work to reach the path that leads back to where I know I am meant to be.
LOTS of hard work and way too much money to get there.

So is it just all a dream?

Or is it a dream that I can bring to fruition?

I feel so confused.  I just don't know whether to head down toward this door that has beckoned to me, and not for the first time either, or do I stay here where I am happy already.
Besides I feel so old to be changing things up.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Moving Monstrosity

For those who have never been in my hubby's shop this wont mean much.... however for those who have ever moved too much stuff in a short amount of time... it might just set off long forgotten back I will share a few photo memorabilia of our pain and suffering from a very long weekend.
I'm just sorry I forgot to pull the camera out and take pics of those who helped us yesterday.... but I am not sure you can physically take photos of angels.

Moving back home.  Nothing is where is should be at the moment... just trying to fit it inside at the moment. Organizing will come at a later date.
Where should we put it?  Put it in the portable!!!
The rack, a bit shorter and now sitting in the driveway waiting to be put IN the portable which still needs sides or tarps or something.... there is always something.
Done for the day!!! Hubby is wondering when Rigby will be handing out back massages, by the look on his face I would say not any time soon!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

A Sunday Morning Scooter


My favorite time of year just got better with the addition of our new toy.
I love the scooter and so do the dogs.  For us town folk with no access to easy trails right out the back gate a scooter gives the opportunity to train and exercise dogs easily.

Did I say easily?

Fun yes, but getting going is never easy.... and today we had an added adventure that I thought would be worth sharing on this wonderful crisp fall morning.

The dogs had already been out of their runs for about 30 minutes and were settling down to chew bones, dig or check out and mark the perimeter of their property. 
Mayhem ensued when I stepped outside with harnesses in hand.  They know what a harness means and excitement ripples between dogs and human.  With the puppies who have never run in harness they get caught up in the fever although I'm sure they have no clue as to why.

With only 5 dogs you would think it easy to harness up 1 dog at a time. 
Let us begin with Penny.  She is the calmest of the bunch and will stand nicely for me while I slip the harness over her head.  Easy? Yes if she was the only dog there. 
Rocky slides up to her side whining for his turn to be right now!  Hubba does a funny in and out bump of my hands as if to say "don't forget about me!"
If it was only those two it would still be pretty easy.... but don't forget we have 2 puppies who think this is all a game and end up climbing over top of the dogs to get a closer look.
"Look Elly a rope or something... wanna play?"
I spend most of my energy pushing puppies off.

I know, you don't have to tell me... "but wouldn't it be easier if you just put the puppies into their kennel??"
Ah, yes it would indeed, however you have to remember we run early mornings to avoid traffic with cars or other people walking their dogs and the last thing we need is the puppies howling and barking thinking they are missing out on something big, especially on a Sunday.
So instead we practice patience and eye hand coordination as we scoop puppies up and push them away while harnessing the bigger dogs.

Now that the dogs are harnessed it is time to get them out of the yard and hooked to the scooter.  Again not an easy task as now we have puppies hanging off of the bigger dogs by their harnesses.
For sure this is a two person job.... and would be so much easier if we either had another person there or an extra arm or two.
At this point it is not just the two puppies we are trying to keep inside but also a 'lone' older dog as I only scooter 2 at a time for the moment.
I'm not even sure how to explain the procedure for getting the gate open allowing 2 hyper harnessed dogs out without letting go of their line and keeping 3 others inside.... let's just say it is an adrenaline rushed brouhaha.

Dogs are finally hooked to the scooter and we can take off.

We run down a total of 4 to 5 blocks before we are out on country roads, and to date it has been rather un-eventful with a couple of squirrels, one cat and a dog in a yard making our exit a tad interesting.  I do know we need to practice our command, "on by" way more than we do.
The most frustrating part of being in town is the cars that slow down to 'watch' us run along. 
I wish people could understand how simple it would be for my furry baby to turn into their vehicle, not that they would as all my dogs are a bit nervous around cars, but accidents happen quickly and the faster their car gets out of our way the more relaxed I am.

We then head up a country road for another 2km's or so.  In another few weeks we will be ready to increase our distance, but I am hoping that we will be on 'real' trails by then and no more roads.

The biggest problem of running this particular country road is the fact that it is a straight line with no turns.
It is the hardest part of our entire run when it is time to head back home.  The dogs do not understand why I need to turn them completely around and it takes lots... LOTS of encouragement to get them to head in the opposite direction, and usually with a few tangles while doing so.

Today however the dogs and I stopped for a quick break at the 1/2 way mark at an opening to a field. 
This particular field had been harvested not too long ago and gave the appearance of a trail.  The dogs immediately began going down this direction.
Normally I do not allow the dogs to choose where we go, instead listening to my commands, however today this trail looked enticing to me too. 
A new trail that was not paved was exciting and it would take us to a road that would lead us home eventually.

I was thrilled and thought that my excitement had passed on to the dogs... but I was not to be the source of their frenzied run.
No, it was the large item that lay to the side of the 'trail', the item that I thought was a piece of garbage.  A large paper bag is what my brain registered.
The dogs knew long before we arrived what they were heading for.

We came upon a rather large piece of (thankfully frozen) deer hide that had been worked over by the coyotes the night before.
Rocky and Penny dove onto it each grabbing a section in their mouths.. I dropped the scooter and ran to the large item that was, once again thankfully, frozen into a large flat surface.  Ripping it from their mouths I flung it like a Frisbee away from the over excited dogs.
Luck was with me in that they were now too distracted with the scattered bones to worry about the disc like edible object flying away into the field like a toy that we play with in the yard.

Grabbing their harnesses I had to drag them with the scooter helplessly bouncing along behind them away from the carnage.  I would have taken them further up this 'trail' if it were not for the rest of the deer laying about 50 feet ahead, so instead we went back to the road.

The rest of our run was uneventful, and they sprinted home in a hurry eager to tell Hubba what lay ahead for him when it was his turn next.
I'm sure they will make a bee line for this very spot next time we head for our run next weekend.

Adventure... always.... with the sun coming up behind me bringing the snow capped mountains to life, the crisp fall air stinging my lungs, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


It has been too long since I've written anything here....

My life has been so busy and full. 
It has not been a matter of no time, just a no real need to write anything.  However that said I have been writing in my journal daily, so who knows why the silence here.
With a new (wonderful) job, growing puppies, fall training and visiting friends there is so much to write about... laziness? .... mis-management of time? .... too busy? 
Whatever the excuse reason  I'm here today, if only to just pop in for a moment... to reflect on a certain day.

Thanksgiving is a time of year with promises....

Kids have settled into routine as they sit at their desks in classrooms around the country, while the fallen leaves swirl and dance outside calling to them to come and play.
The air is crisp with a hint and a promise of winter on the way, yet with a warmth that reminds us of the passing summer days we have just enjoyed.
The mornings are cool enough to run the dogs, letting loose the inbred need to run and run fast! Watching their stamina and strength grow daily.
Turkey and pumpkin pies are promised as is the company of family around our dinner table.

This year will be the first that my children are both too far to join us for the traditional Thanksgiving meal. And that makes me sad.
I sit in my living room, lap top resting across my legs as I type this in my too clean and too quiet living room. Giving me time to reflect upon the past, again making me sad.

Yet as I sit here alone in my silent house I am wrapped in a cloak of warm and wonderful memories.
I am thankful this year for my family and friends who have helped build my cloak... .and am also thankful that it is full of love, happiness, laughter and good health.

This cloak comforts me whenever I begin to feel sad and for that my very special family and dearest friends I thank you!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I Need to Box it Up

I have this old cardboard box.
Carried it around with me since I was a kid.

Sometimes it's empty, sometimes it's full.
At the moment it is so full I cannot get the top closed perfectly.
It bulges and strains at the worn seams.

My worry box, the place I put the 'things to do' the 'want to do' and the 'need to do' stuff.

I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment as I did try to give away a 'need to do' but it was placed back in the box when I wasn't looking.  I have just over a week to finish up this item in my box, but it feels as if it has tentacles that have tangled in amongst the other 'dos' inside this box.

The only bonus that can come of this is the feeling of great relief when it is finally gone.
Then my old cardboard box will feel pretty empty leaving me to enjoy my well deserved holiday with an old friend.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Summers End

Sitting outside this morning with my furry kids I became aware of how cool the morning air has become.
There is a crispness to it and a smell that speaks of fall.

The dogs themselves have picked up on this as play time and walks have a feeling of urgency that means one thing... they are extra hyper.  You could say that the instinct to run, their blueprint of what they were bred to do is coming to the surface, with the colder temperatures comes the urge to run.
"You coming mom?  Lets go runnin'!!!"

And although I'm just as excited as these guys to get running again and to be standing on the back of a sled or on my skis once again I am also feeling rather sad this year.

Summers end also means my kids have both moved on and away.  My baby boy has already forged his path into the big city and is loving every moment (well, almost every moment) and my girl leaves tomorrow night to return to her 'home' on the east coast.
I am going to miss them so very much.  The house gets so lonely without them here, and so do my arms.

Summers end also means it is time to say goodbye to the warm days we have (finally) been having.  I've loved laying in my hammock drifting in and out of sleep while the dogs play or lay beneath me. 
Although we only got out once this year the end has come to the lazy day floats down the Bow River with my bestie and the sharing of secrets.

This summer also marks the end of tiny puppies.  I swear that with the colder mornings the pups have stretched their legs over night.  Teenagers is what they are quickly turning into and a new fun time with them begins, but I will miss that cuddly puppy time.  I know I've said this once before, but it is meant for real this time when I say... No more puppies for me!!

My furry babies turn their backs on being puppies as not only their legs stretch but as they try so hard to be just like the big kids.

This ending also includes the leaving of a job while I search for and hope to get a new career re-started.
So many changes are happening that I try to hang on to the last days of summer, willing it to slow down even just a little.

However this fall does bring promise.
Promise of a great adventure with a best friend from the past as she comes to visit me from across the country for a week (oh the trouble we shall find!!)
Promise of a new job with new and old friends.
Promise of a successful and fun year sledding and skijouring my furry kids while we seek out new trails to explore.

A new season full of promise sounds like a good plan to me.

For now though, I think I shall enjoy the laid back days of summer.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Thank you for Being a Friend

I'm sitting at the computer enjoying a morning cup of coffee (thanks Ray!) before diving into the task of cleaning my house (it is in a desperate state I'm afraid)
My morning ritual of computer play which takes me to my personal e-mail account, facebook (where I have to play a game or two), youtube (I admit, I'm addicted to that stupid site) then on to my blog.

My thoughts this morning keep heading to a friend who is having a pretty invasive surgery this morning, and although I know she will do just fine I can't keep my thoughts off of her.
This led me to start thinking about all the friends I have in my life today and from the past..... and am I a very lucky and blessed person or what?

I could not imagine going through life with no friends at all, or even only one or two.

Granted, there are only a few that I could share my deepest darkest secrets too, but that isn't all that a friend is for and I think I have a well rounded selection of friends that if I was in need they would be there for me (as I would for them)

So I would like to take this time to thank you all.

To family... my hubby, kids, mom and dad, sister and brother, aunt and uncle.. although you are family I consider you to be my number one friend(s) as well. 

To my Besties... I have a few of these... to say I have one best friend is way too hard for me to do...
There is my high school buddy, my childhood friend, my bestie from grade 12, my wine sharing bud from Drum.. these are the four friends from my past whom I'm still in touch with today and when we get together it is always a special time.
My neighbour 4 doors down from the past "gonna borrow a cup o sugar, which takes 2 hours to do" friend who I would call my trouble making, adventure seeking friend.
Guides created two very close friends for me, 1 moved away the other drifted due to work.. but I still feel very close to them and always enjoy and love being with them when we do get the chance.
And my first buddy from town.. our kids grew, work changed and we also drifted apart.. I'm hoping FB will bring us together again as the few times we've had a moment to chat it always feels as if nothing has changed.

To my scrapbooking friends... I never ever see some of you but once or twice a year at a retreat or a workshop, but when we get together I always have a good time and we share a good laugh. I'm always bummed if I cannot attend one of these events because I know I'm missing out.

To my dog sledding friends... I would say this is my most active circle of friends these days, and hardly know where to begin.... The lead dog, or the true Dog Father, (you know who you are)... The family who got us addicted to this in the first place,  those from the committee, those who don't own sled dogs but are involved anyway (used to be me, so watch out!), and all the internet dog sledding friends I've met lately.. which brings me to...

To my internet friends... these are many! Some of you I have met, if only once or twice, others I have never met in person yet I consider you to be my friend.  Through you all we have solved world issues and shared diet tips.  We have shared silly ridiculous stories that I doubt were ever true to sharing our heartbreaks and sorrows.

and then there is Mugs and workplace friends... This is my biggest circle of friends yet... from past employees whom I have gained true friendships from all ages, to past regulars who came to my store whom I am still in contact with and meet for coffee on a regular basis, to other business owners one of whom in particular that I have gotten quite close with.

I'm sure I've missed some, which doesn't make the friendship any less important to me, it just means my brain has not the capability to think of anymore categories to put everyone in.

Matters not, friends are what makes me who I am... without you all I wouldn't be the well adjusted, perfectly calm, law abiding citizen that I am today... wait!  How wrong is that statement?!?
Without you all I wouldn't have all the fun that I have in my life.

Without you all it would be a pretty boring dull life.

Thank you for my wonderful life friend.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Done Like Dinner

I put a resume out for a job that I really REALLY wanna have.

I probably wont hear from anyone about it until sometime next week.
It is not guaranteed, and as they start the re-hiring for the upcoming new year I sit at the bottom of the totum pole un-sure that the call will even come.

Yet with all that uncertainty I still left my current job.
There needed to be new staff in place before I left and it could be a last minute walk away... so as I'm such a nice person I resigned ages ago...
I finished training my replacement yesterday and walked out into the world of unemployment.

I'm so scared, we are already cash strapped as it is and now I have no income!!
Well I suppose that is not entirely true..... I deliver flowers, scoop ice cream, and am doing enumeration starting next Friday..... I still have room for odd jobs if anyone is looking to hire for random hours.... and my new job (being ever so optimistic) doesn't start until September sometime.. if it's the job I want then the second week I believe.

Yet with all that uncertainty I still feel pretty proud of myself.  To be able to make a life changing decision and then act on it, knowing that I could be left open to look for something new, it's kinda exciting actually.

I will miss my 'kiddo' she was an adorable sweetheart and the last couple of months we had a blast together... lots of giggling going on in that stupid car (I hated driving in the end)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Who Said Being A Mom Was Easy?

I`m a mommy.

What does that mean exactly?

Exactly?   I carried my children in my womb for 9 months - although if you want to be exact and technical that has nothing to do with being a mommy either.  There are many woman out there who carry a child within their bodies and for reasons too numerous to get into here the child is taken with love into another home which then transforms someone else into a mommy...

So exactly?  How about the lack of sleep that comes with caring for a new born (sleep like a baby, my ass).  Or sleepless nights hovering over a sick toddler or young child.... and again the sleepless nights when your teenager takes the car out with his/her friends for an evening... and once again as a young adult when they take off to adventures and do not respond to texts leaving you wondering if they are okay..

However it is not just lack of sleep that makes a mommy ... but you now have a mental picture.
What about the skills one gains as a mommy.
Let me explain.

I can say with confidence that I have the ability to walk into any hospital and take on the role of nurse.  I have experience in, but not limited to:
split foreheads (twice), stitches, scraped knees, deep splinters, high fevers, broken arms (twice again), various bodily fluids, removal of tonsils, respiratory distress syndrome, broken fingers, bruises, sprains, ear infections, throat infections, fingers caught in machines not meant for human body parts, and many other ailments that this tired mommy brain has chosen to bury deep within the memories.

Psychologist as I have dealt with broken hearts, depression, anger, in general mood swings that could rival anyone who is labeled extreme bipolar (those with teenager girls will know what I am talking about).

Guidance Councilor when the kids began the decision process of what they want to be when they grow up which starts at about age 4 and carries on well into adulthood (heck I`m still trying to figure that one out myself!!)

Chaperon/Taxi Driver... well this one needs no description other than adding... music lessons, karate, football, Guides, Cubs, Dogsled Races, School field trips, band trips, honour band, field hockey, baseball, etc. etc. etc.

Then there is teacher, personal assistant, executive chef,  housekeeper, accountant, computer operator... should I go on or does this sum it up nicely?
We all know this, it's been written in many blogs before mine, it is even recorded in child rearing books.  Books written on "How to..." from infant to the teenage years.  I'm serious, if you say there is no handbook on raising a child, I dare you then to go to Chapters and walk down the isle on parenthood... wow is all I can say.  You should see all the books out there... from raising a genius to raising a child with some incurable disease, kids who are perfect to kids who have social disorders... it's all there...
If you read them all then heck fire, you could have any kid and know what to do perfectly!!


In any case, I did it the Au natural way.  Used my head and intuition.  Listened to my heart more than my head and followed the strings that attach me and my kids.
For those who don't know what I mean I explained the strings in a previous blog here.

There is one aspect of raising kids that I don't think is written in a 'how to' book.. and that is the part when they leave.
What it will feel like, how much it hurts... the strings pull and tug and rip and stretch... and it does physically hurt the heart.

I had someone recently say, you have to let them spread their wings.
Heck yes, I had no intention of them hanging around this little town they were raised in, I myself do not want to be here forever.
It has nothing to do with letting them fly on to new adventures, in fact I encouraged it.  It has everything to do with how quickly time passes us without a warning.

One day I'm sitting with my kids with me while we watch Disney on tv.. go to a water park .. or set up tents or movie theaters in the living room and play make believe to having to let them leave in an old beater of a car that they plan to drive across the Country in and build a new life with very little money and lots of fun and adventure.... or to finish up school a few thousand miles away with no direction other than to move to Amsterdam in the next couple of years.
Both of them so far away with their dreams.

It is the suddenness of the whole thing that hurts the most.

Empty Nest? 
Yes they have both spread their wings, if that is how we want to say it, and have flown on to their own lives far from home.

Here I will stay, for now, always here for them when they need a hand, an ear, a shoulder... any body part and it is theirs for them at any time.... and they know it.

A page in life has been turned and a new chapter revealed.... however I place the book mark in the center and close the book.
Not yet, I'm not ready to read on... let me take a moment to look back and swim in the memories first.

Friday, August 12, 2011

#$%^@ Trains!!

A quiet night on the prairies.
No sounds can be heard as the moon lays dark shadows amongst the brush.
I hear an occasional puppy yip as they change positions in their bed of straw and complain to each other for the interruption of their slumber.

Far off in the distance I hear the lonely call of the train. 

For most people this is a sound that stirs memories of the past long forgotten, a time when the world was simple.  I've heard someone say that it always brought a smile to their face and a shiver down their spine.
Myself I do not feel or think such things.  Maybe once long ago I would have agreed, but not so anymore.

Instead I find that my back becomes tense.  Anger spurs from deep within helping to build the childlike frustration that wraps itself around my very soul.
At 2 in the morning as the train fast approaches  with the whistle increasing in volume I have these visions that turn to hope.

I'm not wanting anyone to get hurt.. but a turned over train would mean a day or two of reprieve from the never ending train whistle.
A 'noise' that is heard many MANY times through the night and into the early morning hours.
A noise that sets my little pack of dogs off on a howling frenzy.

I am positive they are complaining rather than singing to the whistle that interrupts their sleep.
And I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if our Hubba Bubba could actually learn to howl instead of his shrill bark that sings along with the others Husky Howls.
As the singing continues while the engine passes our house my visions of de-railing trains increases.

As does my anger and frustration.
We learned recently that a CP Rail employee lives on the other side of the tracks from us and his fellow engineers will blow the whistle long just for him...
This knowledge does little for the pent up anger that builds within me for the train... stupid trains.

We asked what it would take to stop the whistles in town.  A letter from town is all that is needed.  Crossfield did it.  And don't tell me it has anything to do with fencing, because it does not.. drive through Crossfield and you'll see.. no fence... no train whistle..

NO train whistle... now THAT is a dream worth having.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Where Were You 27 Years Ago Today?

Where was I August 11 1984?

First let me pour my thoughts over the number 27, which has many references...

One which came into the news most recently when Miss Winehouse passed into the 27 club, not the happiest connection to 27.

However other examples are;

*The total number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet (22 regular letters and 5 final consonants)
*The current number of Amendments to the United States Constitution
*The code for international direct-dial phone calls to South Africa
 *The name of a cigarette, Marlboro Blend No. 27
*Alternate name for The Hunt, a book by William Diehl
*The number of the French department Eure
*Abbé Faria's prisoner number in the book The Count of Monte Cristo
*The number of species Captain Jean-Luc Picard has made contact with in the series Star Trek: The Next Generation
*One of the anthropomorphic math symbols Lisa Simpson imagines talking to her in The Simpsons episode "Girls Just Want to Have Sums", which, instead of offering the expected pun-based aphorism, rather unhelpfully only says "twenty seven"
*In Steven King's novel "It", It returns every 27 years to Derry.
*27 is the number of bones in the human hand. [3]
*Darryl Sittler's jersey number is 27

However in my life 27 is attached this year to a special event that takes place today...

So to answer my own question... where was I 27 years ago today?

Getting married to the man of my dreams surrounded by many family, friends and complete strangers (yup.. there were some people at our wedding that I actually didn't know!)

27 years married to my hubby.
Love you H.M.
Wonder what we will look like 27 years from today?
Still looking smokin' and hot I would expect!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

I Need Help!!

In more ways than one!!

My son is leaving this weekend and I keep breaking down into tears as I try to clean my house on the one day off I have.

AND I miss winter... I know, I know... is she nuts??!!??
I must be.

I will admit I'm loving the warm weather (when we get it) and laying in the hammock with the dogs playing around me, the sun shining down on me (when we get it).

But I do miss the winter and the games the dogs and I play... I look forward to running pups in the snow again... only approx. 60 to 70 sleeps to go!
In the meantime I'll just have to watch this video of my pups running the Rosebud Run Trail.. however this video makes me sad as I miss my Molly bad as well as missing winter.

Monday, August 1, 2011

August Rush'ed'

August has arrived.

I have been dreading this month for some time now.  Yet it arrived anyway.
A month full of emotions.

Happiness as I spend all my moments with my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly talented children.

Joy as I not only spend time with my fantastic kids, but also watch as all 5 of my furry babies play together as a team.

Pride in my kids in how well they've turned out, and also in myself as I work with the furry kids to get along.

Anticipation is present while I await news on a job that has been applied for and I want very much.

Fear if the job falls through as I have already given notice at my present position.

Courage as I face the unknown.

And now Sorrow creeps upon me with the imminent departure of my son... in less than 2 weeks.
I am not looking forward to this new chapter in my life.
I don't want my boy to leave. 
Yes, yes I know, let the kids go, and in time I will accept this move as I did my girl when she left.
However I find this harder as I know that both my kids will be so far away, across the country. 
The worst part for me is the lack of funds that will allow for travel to go and visit easily.

Then there is Excitement that I feel for both my kids as they head out onto the path of creating their own lives away from mom and dad.  Bringing that other emotion of Pride back again.

For now though I wander through my days with a lump caught in my throat as we approach the date set for my sons departure.

I need time to slow down just a little please and thank you.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

4 Freaking A in the M!!


Hubby's alarm went off at 4 (he has a flight to catch for work) and up I am too.
I tried to fall back to sleep, really I did.
My body hates sleeping I guess... I would kill baby kittens to sleep in until, oh I don't know, 7am!!

My alarm will be going off in 5 minutes so that I can get ready to walk the dogs... and as I write this the rains begin once again!!  Son of a ....!!!!

I'm gonna be one tired (and wet) Panda today