Challenge #10

Something you don't leave the house without

I honestly cannot think of anything besides the clothes on my person that I feel naked without when I leave the house.

I've been known to not take my keys if I'm with hubby, and that also includes my wallet.. no money in it anyway so why bother if I'm not driving.
I have a million purses... well okay, maybe not a million, but lots.  I love purses.. yet I don't really carry them around with me all the time.  Odd eh?
Perhaps I collect purses like hubby collects rocks when we are out hiking or on holidays.  Yet instead of displaying them on the window ledges I cram them into the bottom of my bedroom closet.

I suppose the one thing that usually gets popped into a pocket is my phone.  Owning a business with staff put me into the habit of having it with me all the time. Since selling the store it seemed pointless to have it with me.  Now I think it is a way of keeping connected with my kids more than anything else.

We recently got new 'Smart Phones' and I do agree with the hubby... I think that name means the phone is smarter than the user.  There are still many features on it that I don't understand.... however it IS a pretty phone.

TV Schmeevy Challenge #9

Challenge #9 says I should list my favorite TV shows.

Well we don't have cable... we didn't really watch much TV... besides the news, the odd sports game, Food Network and the Discovery Channel... there wasn't much we put on.
I hate reality TV shows.. they are all the same and get boring very fast (although RuPauls Drag Race is the best by far).
So over a year ago now we let our cable go... and I don't miss it... at all.

Funny thing is we actually watch more TV shows now without the cable then we did with it.  HBO and other TV series DVD's have made their way into our home and we regularly watch them all... some of them a few times over.

So my top 10 TV shows are as follows in no particular order...

1. Kids in the Hall:  Yes I admit there was a time most of this show made me roll my eyes, but after being subjected to it over and over thanks to my son, and then seeing these guys live I'm hooked.  Buddy is my favorite character... and you will hear quotes from this show quite often in our home.

2. Monty Python and the Flying Circus: I've always loved this show from a little girl until now.. and their movies are the best (I absently minded forgot to make mention of those in my top movie picks). The dynamics between these men is pure genius.

3. Seinfeld: Who doesn't like a show about nothing?  And I bet you always call out "No soup for you!!!" when ordering soup from a deli... bet you do!!!  I've seen each of these episodes no less than 5 times each.. at least..

4. Dexter: Season 5 cannot come out on DVD fast enough for me.  I'm not sure what it is about the show I like so much.. a serial killer who is a family man... wow... creepy story line, and yet so many of us love it.  Very well done series and Michael C. Hall is brilliant in this... however...

5. Mr. Hall put on an amazing performance in Six Feet Under which is probably my top #1 pick for favorite show.  Everything about this series is terrific... great acting, good story lines, clever, humorous, thought provoking with daring topics... so sad it is over.

6. Breaking Bad.. If you liked Pulp Fiction then I think you would enjoy this show.  Again daring topics which I've never seen done in a TV show.. very well done and I cannot wait for the new season to come out on DVD.. it's taking way too long!

7. Deadwood.. It took me the first two shows to get into this series.. and once I got past the language I fell in love.  Based on real characters from the past it got me so caught up that I'm extremely disappointed that the creators ran out of money... I wait with held breath for the movie that is suppose to come out to conclude this series.

There are sooo many more shows that I've enjoyed over the years.. they all belong on my list of 10.. such as M*A*S*H and Cheers.. the first two seasons of 24, and the first two seasons of Prison Break (to me they both got monotonous after that).. Simpsons and Family Guy would be on that list too..
Instead I thought I'd add the last 3 shows that were my faves when I was a kid..

8. Star Trek:  Yes I admit it, I was a trekky. It was so futuristic, so ahead of it's time and exciting, I mean every week Captain James T Kirk was always getting into a situation that you just didn't know how he would get out of.  (I did love the new Trek movie.. it followed the original characters very well.. that should have been on my fave movie list too!)

9. Gilligans Island: Man I looked forward to this show each week, if anything to just sing along to the opening song. It was always funny with ridiculous situations that even as a kid I knew were down right stupid.. but I kept coming back to the show over and over.. hmm.. perhaps I need to purchase this series?? It's been years since I've seen it.

10. The Goodies.. and if you know this show.. yeah.. the stupidest thing going.  And I'm not sure but it probably only ran 1 season in Canada... but.. at 13 it made me laugh till pop came out of my nose!

However I have to add Batman to this list as loved and faves as a kid.. I used to dress up and pretend I was this amazing super hero (hey! I was like only 3 years old, give me a break!).. so if I missed out on listing him it would be my bad considering I watched this show for years.

Are you Afraid of the Dark??

Something I'm afraid of.....Challenge #8

I could talk about my fear of bears... more specifically bumping into a grizzly bear on a trail with no one around, and nowhere to escape.. at night.  Is that specific enough?
I know I should be more afraid of the cougars out there, but there is something about a very large bear with big teeth, sharp claws and attitude that makes my skin crawl when we are camping.

Then there is dog sledding in the winter on some wonderfully quiet trail just my dogs and I enjoying a great run on a magnificent trail all alone.  The only sounds are the swishing of the runners, the panting of the dogs and the soft clink of the snaps.... when all of a sudden there ahead on the trail is a large moose.  Now that is something to be afraid of.  Hasn't happened to me yet, and I hope when it does that the moose decides to take off in the opposite direction.  It is all those stories that have been shared with me about those times when the moose does not go the other way that frighten me.

Then there is the small dark enclosed space issue that I could talk about as well.  I get the cold sweats just thinking about it.  I'm not a fan of elevators but can handle them as the ride is usually a short one.. and no don't talk about elevators breaking down between floors with me.. it's already stuck in my mind.

However it is the dark that has to be involved to really get me in a state of panic.  I once walked these tunnels with my girl in Halifax and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Why? No idea... I know there is nothing there, but there could be.

What really scares me is a thought.  Just one single thought and it can actually lead to very bad dreams.  "Something bad happening to my children"

By bad I mean physical harm.... I have had terrible dreams of this sort and honestly am not sure how I would handle it if this ever happened.

My kids are my everything.  I think about them everyday, wonder how they are doing and hope they are okay.

I'm not a suffocating mother, I've let my children go.  Yet I am there for them when they need me, with ready arms if they need a hug or an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on.  I also know that they don't need their mother all the time and I'm okay with that too... as long as they are happy and have that ear or shoulder in their partner or friend... then I'm happy.

I just hope for them to stay healthy and to live much MUCH longer than I do.

Challenge #7

Favorite Movies

Favorite movies huh?
I watch so many and have so many that I like that a favorite may be hard to pin point.

Perhaps I can do this by genre, at least I can try.

Movie from the past.. an 'old movie'.. the classics:
There are so many I've seen and enjoyed, and so many are now being re-made and the best part of all these great classics are being lost in the 'newness' of it all.
So I shall pick one that has not been re done that I'm aware of... and that would be The Party with Peter Sellers.  Mr. Sellers is just so clever and this movie makes me laugh every time.  Besides it brings back memories of watching this with my dad as a little girl.

Horror:

I love horror movies.. however it is very hard to find one that is good and scary and doesn't have a stupid Hollywood ending.  I actually enjoyed the first Paranormal Activity..I found it clever knowing what the budget was and how it was filmed. What dumped it to be even put on a list of my favorites was the fact that big names got their hands on this and insisted the ending change, but the ending was stupid ruining the entire movie for me. So although I mention it, it is not a favorite.

In order to find my all time favorite horror you would have to go back many years.  The one movie that scared me the most would have been the original Black Christmas ... and make note, it has to be the original.  The newer version was a joke.

Saying this I have not actually watched the original version since I was about 14 years old.  Not because I think it would scare me, I doubt that now... in fact it's probably just as bad as the new one.  But I don't want to ruin that great feeling I had of being scared shitless... let's just keep that great memory alive without ruining it and finding out the movie is actually crap.



Sci-Fi :

Well.. duh... Star Wars!

However not the 3 newer installments.. especially Episode 3 (blech.. way too much lovely dove shit for me).. nope.. the only three worth watching (in my opinion)  Star Wars, A New Hope  The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi

I do want to mention one other movie though... I thought it was well done, the script pretty good... but again one of my biggest complaints.. it had a Hollywood ending.. so I can't actually say it is a favorite, but it does have to be mentioned War of the Worlds... (stupid, dumb ending however)

Romantic Comedy: 

 A tough one for me.. there are so many... but I really did enjoy Serendipity, who wouldn't want to meet the love of your life this way?  However both You've Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle were wonderful feel good movies with Meg and Tom who work so well together. 

Twisted love: 

 I have no other way to describe this.. it is one of my favorites and don't know where to put it or how to label it.  Dangerous Liasons.  I don't know why but I find John Maklovich to be extremely sexy in this role.. and yet he is the most un sexiest man I know in Hollywood.  The story line is twisted and almost evil.. a part of me which enjoys this very much.

Romantic (not so comedy): Chocolate is a great movie that I can watch over an over.. not too smooshy kissy soppy over the top love story stuff going on here.. besides it has Johnny Depp in it .. sigh... oh, and Judi Dench who is an incredible actor too

Action Thriller:

I am going to have to say Sherlock Holmes here.. we own the movie and we keep putting it on regularly to watch.. feel like my kids when they were little when they re-watched a Disney movie over and over.  Is it because it is a good movie or do I just enjoy watching  Robert Downey Jr.???  I think it is clever, with a great story line.. and I think if you like the Sherlock Holmes stories then it helps to like it even further.

Suspense:

I was sitting here thinking of all the new movies I've seen lately and what I would put in the top spot.. and I kept coming back to an older 'classic'  So my top pick for this category would have to be Rear Window with James Stewart and Grace Kelly.  I've seen it too many times to count, yet I still get all anxious when Grace Kelly heads across to the apartment to investigate.  And who doesn't like Grace Kelly besides???

Musical:

Hmm... nope.. I can't do this one... I love them all.

the Producers.. makes me laugh every time.. I love LOVE Nathan Lane in this, he kills me.

Chicago... done extremely well.. and everyone did an incredible job.

and who doesn't like Sound of Music? Or Mary Poppins?

I love musicals... I could keep on going here... so I'll stop with these four.

Comedy:

Another extremely hard one.. very hard actually... I love all comedies.. even if they are stupid.

Top on my list would have to be To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmare.. a role that Patrick Swazye did that is seriously overlooked.  I think it is his best role ever actually.  And if you have never seen this movie.. then it is something you need to do this weekend!!! 

I also have to add Planes, Trains and Automobiles .. the best comedies are ones that make fun of ourselves and to me this one works for everyone.

Western:

Hands down it has always been The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly... don't know why... just is.

However that said I really like Tomb Stone There are some pretty classic lines from Val Kilmer done in this movie that cannot be overlooked.

Super heroes:

Batman is my ultimate favorite super hero.. has been since I was old enough to walk.  However I loved the latest installment in the series and look forward to the next one.

Bond movies, we always are up for James Bond.. suppose my favorite one so far is Quantum of Solace not 100% sure why, possibly because I feel it was a good.. beginning.. and of course I love looking into Daniel Craigs eyes... and Mathiew Amalric was one of the best villains in my opinion.

You know... I could keep going.. on and on and on.. if you knew me and how much we watch movies in this house you would know that it is near impossible to pick a favorite.

Just talking about the movies above reminds me of others that I've enjoyed.

For example.. another movie, the Diving Bell and the Butterfly, if you have not seen this.. then do!!! Amazingly wonderful.  Well done incredible.. loved it.. etc. etc. etc.

Daniel Craig was in a movie called, Defiance that is worthy of watching.

And two more notables that I will end my list with are The Englishman Who went up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain and Waking Ned Devine

Challenge #6

A Picture of something that makes you happy

Impossible to find one picture of one thing that makes me happy.  Many things make me happy.
But hands down at the top of the list would have to be my kids.  Just looking at a picture of them at any age makes me happy, proud, and sad ('cause I miss them)

Gotta say these two turned out pretty wonderful in my eyes.  They are both extremely talented. My boy, the actor. My girl, the musician.  Both have pretty good heads on their shoulders and are extremely independent.

Sadly that independence has led them far from home. The musician in Nova Scotia and the actor on his way to Toronto. Great places to visit them... I only wish Canada wasn't so big.

Unfinished Thoughts

I found this blog I had written in February .... I don't even really remember writing it or where the thoughts were leading me... but it seems a shame to leave it in the 'draft' folder.
Thought I would share

                                                               * * * * * *

A projector has been turned on, a mass reel is turning, and I'm unable to stop it.
There is no sound, it is a silent feature.

Images flash and flicker against the wall. 

• A house in Toronto with a plastic brick wall wallpaper in the kitchen.. my brother is about 2 years old and we jump on the bed together.
• The townhouse in Burlington... the parking lot with my friends as I fall back into a car and smash my front teeth.. I blame a boy there whose name eludes me now... I was 7.
• Tavistock... the basement, the furnace room with my best friend in our secret 'club' The birth of my little sister.
• Burlington... the place I met my 2 best friends whom I am still friends with.. the place where I had my first kiss... my first boyfriend... my first drink...toke...drivers licence... rock concerts... high school angst...parties....trouble teen years....
• Drumheller... more friends... more parties... more teenage angst.... yet a calming as I merge into adulthood with my taste of wine and more mature friendships..
• England and France my grandparents.. images are many as they flash across my wall... and slip into the past as a young girl with my Nana and the trips to the laundry matt and bubbly gum.

I wipe the tears away as the memories come flooding back, and although they pass quickly it is my more recent memories that seem to be flying by at a pace that feels uncontrollable

• Hubby.... the wedding.... our cockroach filled apartment in Toronto... the moldy basement apartment in Oakville...
• Sheridan College... my good friend who opened my eyes to the many different living styles that take place around us
• The birth of my beautiful children
• Losses... my grandfather, my Nana F, our Pappa... a young friend.... a close, very close, girl friend... the heart being chipped away with the pain of loss... yet carrying on with the scars as we live in the moment that is given to us.

Blarging Blog challenge #5

A Song to Match your Mood

I've been quite laid back today... this weekend... happy that my son is home, sad that my daughter is not.
If I was alone right now this would be the song/ album that would be playing on my ipod.

Reflective, lazy, not sad but mellow kinda day.

Brian Eno; Music for Airports

Blarging Blog My Parents

Continuing on with the challenge, and at #4.. Your Parents...

My parents.
They are complete opposites of each other.
Daddy is a stay at home kinda guy who loves to watch his TV and is most comfortable in his own chair. 
Mommy is (as was described by a theater person) like a drunk bumble bee... buzzing around all the time from one thing to another always on the go.

When it comes to their kids they are always there, and always supportive.

I've been thinking about what I was going to say when it came to writing about my parents, and no particular thought came to me.
Do I write about who 'they' are?  Or how I was raised? Or is this gonna be like some cheesy day time talk show blog about how I blame my momma for my crack addiction?

Instead I thought I'd pick on a memory or two from my childhood (before age 17) that would best illustrate some of the above.

I never really knew what my 'da' did for a living when I was young.  Most likely because I didn't really care, surviving in that selfish stage of childhood when it was all about me.  Instead remembering only the great cakes he brought home from Sarah Lee.. the ones with the crooked frosting that they couldn't sell in the stores (and no he didn't work for Sarah Lee.. at least I don't think so???)
Pay day Fridays he would bring chocolate bars home for us.. and that was a pretty cool treat for us back then.
We used to watch old movies and I would tickle his feet for a penny a minute, which was raised to 10 cents a minute when I understood the value of money.
However the strongest memory I have with my daddy was a once a week event that took place when I was a young teen living in Ontario.  I had early morning piano lessons that he would drive me too, and on the way to school we always stopped in at McDonalds for an egg McMuffin and an orange juice.
I always thought this was so special and it was like a secret between just me and my daddy... I have since learned that my baby sister also got the same treatment... although knowing this doesn't take away from the 'specialness' that I felt from back then.

My 'ma' was a stay at home mommy until I was in middle school, I think... or was it high school... I don't remember... I just remember she worked at the building next to the high school splicing those educational films we all watched in school from way back when.
Now... I say she was a stay at home mommy because I don't really remember if she did work or not when my sister was younger... don't forget I was in that 'it's all about me selfish stage.'
Mom was always on the go, still is, doing something, having us do something.  Life was always moving for us in our home... and that is okay... I have some pretty good memories.
Mom was always and I mean ALWAYS doing stuff with us and for us that picking out a one particular memory is hard for me...
Mom was the one who taught me how to drive.  My first time ever in a car after receiving my learners was at night, in the rain and she had me turn left onto a semi busy street.  AND we didn't live in no small town!
I have some great memories from when I was a kid with my mom camping at Darien Lake in the States every summer for quite a few years in a row.  Just my mom and us three kids as my dad had to work (besides he hated camping.. bugs and the outdoors were not for him).

But one particular memory that stands out of my mom is a time when she dropped me and my best friend off at middle school. I was in grade 7 and just oh so cool.  As we neared the school we asked to be dropped off at the corner furthest from the building.  I mean after all someone might see us get out of my mothers car!
No, instead she drove as close as she could get which was in the teachers parking lot right by the door where all our peers were.  We tried to make a hasty retreat and near about died of shock and embarrassment when she got out of the car and stood on the door frame and started yelling her goodbyes to us and waving.
Although I thought I could have died at the time, it wasn't long before that made me laugh thinking about it.. yup.. that was and still is my mom.

My parents are still together, and continue to be a big part of my life.   
For that I feel very lucky.

Do I blame my mom for my crack addiction? 
You bet!!
We all gotta have dirty laundry to make life interesting :-)

Challenge #3 First Love

Your First Love

blink, blink, blink.... the cursor line doohicky thing has been flashing in front of me for some time as I think about who.. or what my first love was. blink, blink, blink....

Do I talk about a non-memory? Being brought into this world into the waiting arms of my mom and dad?  Technically they were my first love.

Or perhaps it would be my first remembered love. Pippy my black and white cat. Named after a favorite character of mine at age 9, Pippy Long Stockings.  Although I suppose Tiger the cat I found homeless only days before receiving Pippy as a kitten for my birthday would have to be my first love. 
My poor parents.  We had been animal-less and I find this sad, but sweet cat whom I moved into the garage before asking if I could keep him.  "please? oh please????? He has no home, you can't let him go again!!"   How can  you say no to a pleading 'save the world'  9 year old cries, even if you have just purchased a kitten as a surprise for your daughters birthday?

However most would say a first love would be of the romantic nature between two humans in a non parental form.

And what is love?  My sons belief at the moment is that love is like Santa Clause... it is not real, all a story told to children to make them believe that the Prince or Princess of your dreams is out there waiting for you.  Yet my boy just had his heart crushed by young love, so he still has yet to find that 'true love' out there... and it IS out there if you allow it into your life.

But I digress... my first love?

It would have to be a boy I met in Ontario when I was about15. 
My girlfriend and I used to do this thing with the phones... oh, by sharing this story my true age is going to be shed here.... so, before Internet, we used to dial certain numbers on those old rotary phones.. no cel phone service or even cordless.. no cordless anything back then. 
Well we would dial a phone number, I believe it was a school number in Hamilton, in the evening when nothing was open (oh yeah, no answering machines either)  Between rings you could talk  yell to others who would also dial the number and get phone numbers from guys who were on the same line (who in the blazes discovered this anyway???)

Anyhow.. this fellow was on here and we started talking via the phone... and one thing led to another and we decided to meet at the mall.
My girlfriend was with me... and when we saw this 'guy' she was a little freaked out and said we should leave... but I was curious after our many phone conversations to actually meet this long haired heavy rocker looking dude.
Hair down to his waist long... probably kinda Goth looking in those days if you had to label him.

Well that is how we met... and the relationship was a long one for the age we were... 3 years of on and off...breaking each others hearts.. young love.

Then I moved. Across Canada move.

Although we kept in touch for the first year... Not only had I moved in distance but also in my mind... I was making new friends and eventually dating other 'guys'

So, yeah, that would be my first love. 
Now Shaun Cassidy... he would have been my first crush... I still remember sighing over him with his picture hanging all over my walls!

Challenge #2

Meaning behind your blog name.

Well.. IF you know me then it makes total sense.

Insomnia.

I don't sleep.

Well okay I DO sleep, but I cannot sleep in.  I'm usually awake by 5:30 at the latest, and no matter what time I was up until the night before.

I tend to wake up anywhere between say 3:30 and 5:30 and once I'm up, I'm up for the day.
 Sad... so sad.

Although this past month I have been woken up by my alarm more times than over the last year.  So I may be going back to a normal sleep pattern? 
Gee if that happens what name do I take on then?  Do I keep a name that doesn't apply to me? 

Better start drinking more of that Java again!!!

Let the Challenge Begin

Challenge #1
Alrighty O, here I go...

Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts

1. I'm a girl. 
2. Never said I was interesting.

Oh, alright... I'll try to be a little more creative here...

1. I was born a girl... no, wait.. .I'm not done.  I was born a girl, but wish I was a boy.. I'm a tomboy at heart and feel that men have way more advantages in their physical abilities to do some way cool stuff.  Sure girls can do whatever they set their mind too.. but sometimes it is just way easier for a guy. 

2. As much as I've wished to be a boy.. I've loved, LOVED being a mom to the two most wonderful, talented, incredible kids that anyone could ever ask for. I could talk about my kids 24/7, but I'm pretty good about holding back.

3. Married.... 27 years this August... Still married in this day and age seems crazy.. 27 years! We've been together for 29.. man that makes me feel old. There have been some pretty rocky moments in the last few years that have almost set us over the edge.. but we've hung on to that cliff with white knuckles so far. I actually cannot imagine being with anyone else in my old age, so I'll continue to hang on.

4. Addiction they say runs in the family,,, and we have a few (not opening any closets or sharing dirty laundry),,, but I carry this gene.  I've been pretty lucky with my addictions however... and to name a few...

5. I love to read.  However once I start reading a particular author or theme I'm pretty much digging out all and anything I can get my hands on... the latest topic has been dog sledding

6. Which brings me to #6.. Dog sledding and dogs.. I love my pups.. and dream of land with MORE pups and the ability to hop on a sled outside my back door and just go.

7. Scrapbooking... If I could in my spare time do nothing but play with papers, pens and photos I would.  when sitting down to a good movie with my hubby it's all I can do to not head up to the craft room and start playing.  But I spend way too much money on 'things' for this addiction....

8. My love for scrapbookin' comes from my need to be creative.  I miss my days of acrylic and oil painting.. and this has allowed me to keep that part of me alive.  The paints were put away when the kids came along and I'm not entirely sure why. And not only do I use scrapbookin' as a creative channel but I also journal.. I have so many books full of thoughts, stories, poems and randomness that I probably have contributed to at least 3 fallen trees.

9. I'm addicted to movies. I will watch anything that comes my way. Nothing gets done in our house as hubby shares this addiction with me.  We don't have cable as I find I cannot handle the crap that spews out of the box when the TV is on.  However I can sit down and watch and enjoy the worst B rated movie that was ever produced... need a good laugh, or head hanging shame moment? Watch 'Ankle Biters' (I never did watch the entire movie, it was THAT bad)

10. I want to go back to school. In the worst way. I've been to college for Art, Business, and Teacher Assistant... I've used all three over the years.. but I want, no, I need more!
That said.. I'd love to go back and get a degree in Art History... I can see myself as a little old lady professor in some old University somewhere.  Dreams.. Can't let go of those.

11. I've traveled to England, France, the West coast of the States and all but 1 province and 2 territories of my own country... and I want to keep going... speaking of dreams... I want to see all of Europe, China, Egypt, Africa.. well... you get the picture.

12. I do not look my age... I do not act my age... in fact I refuse to grow up anytime soon.

13. I talk too much.

14. I love my job.... I work with an amazing young woman whom I have fun with on a daily basis.

15. I miss my old job... I loved my coffee shop and regret daily letting it go... and although I do not miss the work that came with it I really miss my staff and customers... in the worst way.

Making snow angels... I tell ya.. I'm never gonna grow up!

Blarging Blog

I just saw this on a friends blog.... it was something he copied from a friend of his.. who I'm sure copied it from a cousins roommates girlfriends mother.

I had been feeling at a loss... or in other words... having a lack of inspiration... or in other words... large brain farts lately.

This idea is a great one for me to get me writing again.  I haven't even been pen journaling very much lately. 

For the next while I will be writing about the following 64 topics and subjects.  It copies something that went around on facebook to a certain degree, but rather than photos (well not so much) it is more focused on the writing... perfect for me to give me that little push.

So .... here goes.....




1. Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts
2. Meaning behind your blog name
3. Your first love
4. Your parents
5. A song to match your mood
6. A picture of something that makes you happy
7. Favorite movies
8. Something you’re afraid of
9. Favorite TV shows
10. Something you don’t leave the house without
11. Bible verse
12. Dream house
13. Something you’re looking forward to
14. Favorite Place to Eat
15. Something you miss
16. Nicknames
17. Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
18. Something you’ve learned
19. Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
20. Your Dream Wedding
21. Something that stresses you out
22. 3 Wishes
23. 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge
24. Your favorite song
25. Your favorite book
26. Your favorite quote
27. A photo that makes you angry/sad
28. A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
29. An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
30. A talent of yours
31. A hobby of yours
32. A recipe
33. A website
34. A YouTube video
35. Your day, in great detail
36. Your week, in great detail
37. This month, in great detail
38. This year, in great detail
39. Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
40. Something you ate today.
41. Your idea of the perfect first date.
42. An animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
43. The item you last purchased.
44. Y our favorite place to eat.
45. A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
46. Your celebrity crush.
47. Something you crave a lot.
48. A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
49. A photo of something that means a lot to you.
50. How have you changed since last year.
51. Something you could never get tired of doing.
52. Talk about a regret you have.
53. Share a story from your childhood.
54. Explain how you got one of your scars.
55. How do you think others view you?
56. A poem you wrote.
57. Tell us about your best friend.
58. A talent of yours.
59. Your deepest fear.
60. Reveal your most guilty pleasure.
61. If you have tattoos, show them. If not, talk about the tattoos you want or why you don’t think they are right for you.
62. Talk about the last “random act of kindness” you encountered.
63. The last thing that made you cry.
64. Say something to your 15 year old self.

All For You

What I wouldn't do for my children.... what I wish I could do for my children.

I feel their joy and happiness and their sorrows and pain.
I just wish I could take all the hurt away.

I know that everything that happens to us is happening for a reason.  That if one door closes another opens in it's place.
Life lessons.

It is also understood that it is these doors that sometimes slam shut make us into who we are, better and stronger for it.  Could it not hurt so much?

Today I'm just wanting to wrap my arms around my baby boy, hold him and take away his pain.  Tell him that there are great things waiting for him.   He's still young and there is so much more that this life has to offer him yet.
He's a wonderful young man who cares ever so deeply about everyone and everything around him.
...and that YES you ARE good enough!!!  For anything you put your mind too.

I love you very much baby boy.... and no matter what the physical distance is between us I will always be there for you. 
For both my babies.

There is still so much waiting for you, be strong, be patient, know that so many love you.

Inner Peace

Hurtful words came my way this weekend.

I was shocked and am still in a state of disbelief.
It always amazes me when people can speak words of hurt without thinking of their consequences.  We've all done it in our lifetime, probably more than once.
Yet when it happens to me it always catches me off guard and makes me sit back with wonder as I lick my inner wounds.

At times like these I turn to the Dalai Lama for guidance.
A wise man.

"A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you."


"A great rock is not disturbed by the wind; the mind of a wise man is not disturbed by either honor or abuse."



I have so badly wanted to defend myself, say something and speak up.  I know this to not be a good idea, especially in the written word.... so instead I will listen to the words of  the Dalai Lama... and know that my day will only get better if I focus on being happy.....

"Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something. and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent."
 
Have a great week everyone.

Anger at it's Best

I hate Nicolas Cage.

Okay, hate is a rather strong word for someone I don't even know.  Let me rephrase that.

I hate Nicolas Cage's acting ability.  He is quite emotionless in every movie I have ever seen him in... "I love you" is almost the same as "I hate you"
His facial expressions rarely change.  

Watching a movie trailer I will be thinking, "well this looks like it could be a good waste of 2 hours of my life"..... until I realize it stars Nicolas Cage... then... not so much.

However a friend of mine put this following video up on his blog site and it made me realize that I must be missing something in Mr. Cage.  He really does show anger... however by the end of this clip I was laughing rather uncontrollably.

You still wont find me munching popcorn in front of the screen that stars this 'actor'

Missing Molly

I sit here inside on a beautiful sunny warm spring day.

Inside? Yeah it sucks, I know.  I've started this chore of cleaning up and re-arranging my bedroom and it really needs to be finished today, if possible.  Then there is the dreaded task of paper work that is left over from the days of owning my own business.
I keep putting that chore off by finding other things to do, and let me tell you, scrubbing the dog poop buckets out is way more appealing to me.

So, here I sit, inside.  As you can see I'm not cleaning my room as I need to do.

My thoughts have been with my little girl Molly today.  I really miss her very much, and have been unable to talk about her..... until today.
I think it might help me to feel right about my decision if I put it all down into words.

The decision was made.  It had to be made, for the sanity of the humans and furry kids alike.

Molly and Penny hated each other.  Seriously hated each other, to the point of drawing blood.
The final fight that led to Molly leaving us was a bad one, Penny lost the tip of her ear and Molly was lucky to not lose the muscle on the front of her leg.   And this fight happened while on line racing.
Up until then the only fighting we had was in the yard or if they got too close on the truck.  They seemed to ignore each other while running as a team, until now.

Molly was chosen as the pup to move to our friends kennel as she seemed to have a personality to suit that kind of life.  Besides she isn't a lead dog and Penny is.  Without Penny we didn't have much of a team.

Molly has fit right into life at the W's.  She has made many friends and has a kennel mate named Pierre, a big white Sibe.  She seems happy there, and that makes me happy, but still doesn't fill that hole in my heart that has been left by her leaving.
When a dog passes over that rainbow bridge it is hard and your heart aches for that companion.  When you have to give a healthy young dog up for other reasons it breaks your heart.  It is taking me much longer to get over missing my girl.

I miss her deep howl that she used when playing with her brother.  I miss the huge wide grin she gave when getting her neck scratched.  I miss how she would sit down when you started to pet her - every time.
I just miss her.

However I do not miss the fence fighting between her and her sister.  I do not miss having to walk the dogs separately (Hubby and I can actually walk them together now!). I love the fact that all the dogs hang out together now all at once.  I love the fact that I can open up my back door and they come and go as they please.

I still miss my Molly though... I always will.  At least I can go and see her whenever I want.

It looks like that we will be bringing in a replacement for our little team.  And although no dog will ever replace my Molly, there is no other way to explain why we are bringing in another pup.  A boy (no more girls for me) named Bearcub... Hubbas daddy... a sweet boy who will help lead my dogs and who knows,  between him and Hubba I might actually place in skijouring,,,, maybe making the top 5?  The top 3?

However I still miss my Molly.

Blowing the Dust Off

Today I've given myself the task of cleaning up my bedroom to make room for a new dresser I received as a birthday gift.

The dresser is great.  Nice and big for all my clothes that at the moment sit in baskets on the floor or in the closet.  I haven't had a 'working' dresser for years. It is going to be such a treat.
However we live in a very small, very old house with very tiny rooms.... and it turns out that the way the room is set up there is no where to put this great dresser.

I have to turn the bed, but under the bed is years of collected things.  Most of them have ended up in the garbage (why do we hang on to stuff?)

It has taken me hours to go through all of these things.  Only because I like to look through it all. 

The best find so far has been a box of all my old journals.
And I'm talking journals that go back to 1983!! 
The journals of the birth of my kids are there.
Their first days of school, in fact their firsts of everything are here, hidden in a box under my bed.

I blow the dust off of the one on top open the cover and inside find words printed on old paper from thoughts I had many years ago.  What a wonderful discovery.

Date: January early 2000's

Time mocks me - flashes on my little bedside clock. on. off. on. off.
Counting the seconds forward, never resting - on to the future.
Of a minute... a fleeting thought
An hour... a sigh, a yawn, a chapter read
A day... fellowship enjoyed, tears shed, work done
A month... money in, money out, deals made, hands shook, connections with loved ones many miles away
A  year... my babies grow older as do I

Wrinkles show up - age creeps upon me - any wisdom gained?
New friends come, old friends leave.
And time ticks on, uncaring.

My Heaven

I've just had the most terrible of terrible days ever.... and I coulda' been dog sledding with friends today which makes it even feel more terrible of a terrible day!!

So.... I have to sit and just watch my video one more time.
I must say, I really like the song by Queen, This Could be Heaven... 

Lets hope for better days........   For everyone!!!!