Canadian Challenge: Tough Decision

It is with a heavy heart that a decision had to be made in regards to my being able to follow and blog the race this year.

There are many, many friends going to be attending and I was so looking forward to seeing everyone again.  To join tired minds and cold hands for a week of fellowship and fun.

So many factors have added up that made me take a step backward to make this decision.  

I would still like to write about each musher who is running the race..... And I am still planning on writing about the race itself. 

I just wont be there in person to do a play by play.

Thanks to everyone who followed up with me and shared their information.  I'm sorry I wont be able to meet you all.

And for those that have not sent me their information... I'm still waiting!!

Yep, I'll even miss this place

Photo Credit: Jim Williams

Canadian Challenge: Rick Wannamaker

I have felt honoured, no, privileged to be able to call Rick a friend.   Rick has welcomed me into his home and kennel, freely sharing his secrets of dog training with me... Although don't try too hard to get me to share any as I did make a solemn promise to never divulge any of those secrets.  Only he can do that, and this big hearted man does so freely while weaving them into the most amazing and fun stories.

When Rick enters a room his presence is large, and not because he is just over 6 feet tall, it is more to do with the way he commands the room.

Those of us lucky enough to have been with Rick when he shares his stories will completely understand.

Today I feel a deep sadness over having to put up this post.

I had been planning on following not only the Challenge and all the amazing mushers who will be running it, but was also going to be writing Rick's story.   And to top it off, I was going to be hanging out with Dena, his incredible wife,  and would get to follow the dogs that I have been lucky enough to run while helping Rick with his training. 

Unexpected situations can happen to all of us.  Life just happens.

Unfortunately for Rick the unexpected did happen.

Below is an e-mail he sent to me that I am to share with you.

To Rick, I hope that there will be more stories for you to share in the future.   I look forward to hearing them all.

"Training was going so well until January and then the wind came and wrecked our home trail.

As much fun as traveling with the dogs to train can be, it's also exhausting when you have a full time job running a business. 

So many times in the last 14 years, distance training in chinook country has been like pushing a boulder up a hill.

 Why do I do it? For me its the dogs and the connection with these super athletes. And the stories...oh the stories...

It's hard for outsiders (non-distance mushers) to really understand the attraction to this money sucking, energy sucking sport, with it's months of training to go to even a single race.  I think you have to actually do it to get it.

My messing up my shoulder was the final straw in a tough month.  I will so miss the great people and the excitement at the Challenge this year.  And of course the chance to be part of yet another story of the Challenge."

Rick

Photo Credt: Mike Forhan

Canadian Challenge - Handler Hell

Well okay it's not really hell but there were definitely moments when I wondered.

The teams all left Prince Albert making their way through down town to the river.  I wish I could have recorded some of the stories of this grand adventure.

Laura lost her team so I heard catching a vehicle to help chase the team down and catching up to them a couple of blocks later (hope I have that somewhat accurate)

Rick ran over a poor senior when he was just trying to help him out as many of the mushers ended up on the walking path rather than the trail that was set out for them.
Jillian also clothes lined an unsuspecting photographer who did not heed the cries of "Watch Out!!"

Randy seemed to me the only one who made it out of town without any crazy story to tell of, in fact I don't even know he realized this was all going on around him as he made his way to the trail that followed the hiway out of Prince Albert toward the first check point of Anglin Lake.

I was thrilled this year to be handling for Randy at the Challenge, not only for the experience but also because I would be working along side Dena Wannamaker.  I would get to learn from one of the best.

Handlers are the only ones allowed to help the musher once they enter the start chute and until they cross the finish line.  We were asked to wear the team number on a yellow bib any time we were working with the dogs.

Most teams also had a driver, obviously the person responsible for driving the dog truck along the route.
Randy's driver was a fellow by the name of Rob.  I was finding out that he and I had a ton in common from watching the Walking Dead to enjoying all the DC movies.  This was going to make our trek along the Challenge a fun one.  It also turns out that not only has Rob been to the Challenge twice and knows the ins and outs but he is also a mechanic which helped Randy out with the trailer issue and also as much as he could with the upcoming truck issue.

Some teams brought along support in the way of cheering squads, mothers and fathers were present as well friends.  In Randys case he had two young ladies from Fort MacMurray who also were vets that worked at the clinic he used for his animals.
Jessica and Melissa were to follow along to cheer and take a ton of pictures.

It took Randy 4 hours and 50 minutes to get to Anglin Lake, for us in a vehicle it was much much less.
Once arrived Rob worked at backing our rig up into a free spot where we would wait for Randy and the team to arrive.  However the clutch blew on the truck.

Panic could have taken over me easily and I could see it on the edge of some of those around me, I'm sure it was also reflected on my face.

My brain working on overtime I tried to piece together what could be done without a truck.... how was I to follow the team and give support without one?
Speaking to Dave Smallwood the Race Marshal a plan was devised.

Steve Taylor whose daughter was Jillian Lawton, agreed to hook up the trailer which held all of Randy's supplies and become our driver until our truck could be repaired and back in service.

This meant that I lost the companionship of Rob and that photos would be sorely missing.
However it also meant I gained the company of an incredibly vocal and full of fun and interesting stories from a fellow full of amazing energy.  If it wasn't for the Taylors I don't know what we would have done.

Randy's reaction was to scratch, at least that was a question he posed to me when first arriving and learning of our situation.  I pulled him aside to tell him in no way would he scratch and that what was going on with any of these troubles were to be no concern to him right now.  He had to focus on the task at hand and that was to get to the next check point.

For now it was important to bed down the dogs in piles of straw and then to cover each on in a blanket to help keep body heat in as they had a well deserved rest.
I sent Randy up to the lodge to get a hot meal and warm up in the building while I worked at comforting dogs.  Dogs were fed, massaged if needed and just left alone to sleep.

Randy tried to close his eyes for a bit, but unfortunately I don't think he got much rest.

Anglin Lake being the first check point from the finish line takes an average of 5 hours to get to.  Most experienced mushers use this stop to take a rest for the team that matches the run time.  Looking at most winning teams you will see that their run time matches their rest time for the most part.

As Randy's rest time was coming to a close we discovered Wolverine with a very sore knee... we think... at least that seemed to be where the pain was directed.  There was a knot inside the groin area that was massaged and then walked out.
He actually seemed okay when it came time to hook up the dogs so at 9:34 Randy and all 12 dogs left Anglin Lake for Elk Ridge.

Anglin Lake cabin Photo Credit: Jim Williams

Straw strewn about which now needed to be raked up and bagged and dog supplies needing to be packed back up, the site needed to be cleaned and then checked and signed out by the checkpoint official.  

Then Steve, his wife Carol and myself hopped into the truck to meet up with Randy at Elk Ridge.

Randy was I believe 4th out.  I'm afraid I didn't do a great job of knowing where the other teams were other than Rick as I was just a tad busy myself.

Randy arrived in Elk Ridge at 11:38, a 2 hour and 4 minute run.

He pulled in thinking he needed straw and that the run toward the next check point was longer than originally thought.... so after convincing him it was only another 3 hours  he was back out on the trails headed toward MacLennan River 16 minutes later. 

Handler Hell?

Yeah..... that would be at the MacLennan check point.

My Biggest Mistake

It's been a strange few months when it comes to my blogging.
One reason for my absence has to do with my phone addiction.  I find it easier to hang out in cyber land on this little hand held device than deal with my broken lap top, however blogging with a teeny tiny key board has its challenges as well, so I just stayed away.

The other reason for the silence has more to do with why I have avoided coming here.
Today is the day.
 I feel it is time to break the silence even though it is still hard to talk about.

I should have been packing and prepping to leave for the Percy deWolfe Memorial Race. The plan was to leave this weekend.

I will not be going.

My heart hurts with the disappointment.

For two years it was all I could think of.
Nerves and excitement hung around me all the time.

I had a good feeling about my three dogs that were coming with me.  They were running well and we were slowly building distance.
There was a worry that the miles were not being put on quick enough, but they were strong and loved to run not wanting to stop when we did.

Hubba was losing weight as was I.
The only big step was to practice skijoring with the three together and with the pulk.

That is when I made a mistake.

A big mistake.

I did not listen to my dogs.
They put ALL their trust in me and I let them down.

We had gone running for the day with friends on gorgeous trails..... Perfect trails for training on.  I was so excited with the thought of camping here and spending most of my weekend on the trails only a couple hours away.
It was a nice day with temperatures hovering close to zero.  Nice for the humans but could have been a little cooler for the dogs.

What I loved most about this training were the hills.... Great training for both myself and the fur kids as I also had to run.

However it is also part of the reason we came into trouble.  One in a larger equation.

My first mistake was not packing water snacks.
I was told we wouldn't be gone very long so I did not pack them.  I should have asked how long we would be as my idea of not long is an hour or two.... We were out closer to five.

My second and biggest wrong doing was not listening.
I knew my kids were tired.
We were working hard on those hills and Rigby's tug line kept going slack.

His tug line never goes slack.... Ever.

I knew I should stop to rest but our human leader insisted we keep going to get out to the trucks.
Worried about being out on the trails in the dark we kept ourselves running forward.
I should have just stopped should have listened to my inner voice that kept telling me to stop.

Instead Rigby collapsed.
Heat exhaustion took over and he had to be bagged for the rest of the ride.

Rigby was fine by the time we got back.  But he has never run the same since.
He is worried that this will happen again.
He does not trust in me anymore.
Rigby was my power house.

I let him down.

I let myself down.

I knew then that there was no way I would be able to get the training miles on or just go with two dogs.
It still took over a month before I could tell anyone I was not going.

It broke my heart and my spirit.
It still hurts.

But I AM excited for Raija as she leaves today for the Yukon and to carry out our dream.
I will be with her in spirit.

Arrive Alive

Sunday morning and the lack of food in our cupboards had forced me to head out for a big grocery shopping excursion.

I like to shop locally but am forced by my pocket book to head to the bigger city south of us to partake in this weekly ritual.  One that at this time of year leaves me with the sweats as everyone and their grandmother is also doing the same thing... shopping.
However being a beautiful day,  and the promise of talking to my son a couple thousand miles away on the phone at the same time, made this a not so bad chore to do today.

So off I go heading out on the main hiway which was clear and dry today making it easier for me to take in the views and rejoice in the fact that I call this province my home.
The mountains were beautiful today, looking larger than normal with their snow caps reflecting the bright morning sun.

 

Of course this is not my picture as using my camera would have made it a little dangerous while driving.

 

My pleasant drive was interupted by some woman in an SUV kissing my ass.  She may as well have been, I swear she was so close I could smell her breath.

 

 

Before I could come up with a plan to piss her off she passed me and flew by.  She had to be going at least 20km's over the speed limit, at the very least, as within moments of her passing she was a small dot ahead of me.

 

Where, WHERE, could she be going that she had to go so fast?  

I suppose a family emergency?  Late to pick someone up from the airport?  While I was compiling the list of reasons in my head to make her recklessness okay (which by the way I could not come up with any that made this alright) I noticed that I was a minority in driving the speed limit.

It seemed to me that 90% of every driver out there today had somewhere to be NOW.

 

Seriously people.  You are not just putting yourself at risk.  What about those who are sharing the road with you?

Do you not have family that would like to see you arrive home alive?

I do.

 

Anything can happen. 

Sure you tell me that you are a safe driver and that driving fast is no biggie, your brakes are good, you are experienced... whatever.

 

 

ANYTHING can happen.  

And it all happens in a blink of an eye.

 

I know this from experience as this is a picture of my van after I hit a deer while doing the speed limit.

 

So if you don't mind I would like to visit with my son who is coming home for the holidays.

I also have plans on hanging out with my entire family this Christmas season.

Not being thrown into a situation that YOU put me in because you just had to be somewhere right now!

I sure as hell do not want to end up here as I am sure your family does not want you here as well.

 

SLOW down!!!!!   There is nothing and I mean NOTHING that is so important that you must risk my life (or yours) to be there by driving fast and careless to get there.

 









The Pot Hole, now THAT is a Common Weed!!

I love Daisies.

They make me smile giving me a warm happy feeling inside.
Simple yet elegant.
I have, or rather, had a small bunch growing by my front door so that when I came home it would instantly cheer me up.

After a knock on our door one morning which found a 'Weed Inspector' from the county on our front step changed all that in a matter of moments.

Leucanthemum vulgare is what she said we had.  A common weed.
I knew that it was a weed, vulgar it is not.  Dandelions, they to me should be labeled as such, not the pretty little Daisy.
The Daisy that made up the bulk of my wedding boquet those many years ago.

We were told that it had to be removed... our little bunch of daisies that have been growing at the side of our house for the last 15 to 20 years. 
Yes we live in a rural town not far from pasture fields, but far enough that my little bunch of Daisies would not creep there and take over... in fact they hadn't even crept their way into our front garden or the driveway.

So now my little bunch of daisies sit dying in a vase on my dining room table.  The weed inspector saving the day as she keeps our yards safe from these pests.

However it seems a sad strange world when there is someone who drives around making sure that our gardens are free from flowering weeds when the pot holes grow in large numbers along many of the county roads.

A Happy Ending

My boy is home for a weeks holiday making this Mommy a happy one.
However with only a week there are a few 'to do's' that must happen and one of those was Dad and Son heading out on the lake to go fishing.
With my girl off to the Stampede with a friend I was left alone with my fur kids for the day.

The 'Mum' in me decided it should be a day of baking so there could be treats for the family for the next week.

Door propped open with a rock the fur kids could come and go as they pleased while I kept busy in the kitchen.
I had purchased a couple of flower pots and was not in full trust that they would not pull them apart so I did head out a few times to see what they were up to and throw the ball for Rigby.

Dogs in and out, napping at my feet and sniffing up at the counter, it all seemed like a normal day, there was no indication to the adventure that was about to ensue.

I was just cleaning up from my latest batch of cookies and had a tray in the over with about 3 minutes left to go on the timer when Hubba popped in whining and seeming rather agitated.
Drying off my hands I threw my chore shoes on (which are loose and clumpy on my feet), stepped outside and called to the dogs... "hey puppies!!"

Nothing.

The yard was empty.
Void of dogs.

The gates were closed.

What the hey???

Walking around to the back of the yard I just about fell over.  Two fence boards had been ripped off the fence and a huge hole stood between the yard and freedom.
My guess was a cat happened to be on the other side resulting in the escape that was most likely all Penny's doing.

"Shit!!"  I stood staring at the newly created gate to the front yard frozen to the spot with my brain reeling with what I needed to do to bring all 5 dogs back by myself.

Running inside I grabbed their collars which of course they were not wearing (bloody hell), the leash and stopped to tie my shoes that were slopping about on my feet. 
Leaving the back door open I grabbed my cell phone and keys and took off outside calling all the dogs names while standing in the middle of the road.

Nothing, no sound, no sign of any dog.

I jumped into the truck and started off down the road hoping that I picked the right direction, the one we use to walk the dogs.
Nothing, no sign of them at all.

Why did this have to happen when I was at home alone?

I drove about 6 blocks or so when all of a sudden I see Hubba and Elly sniffing a backyard fence.
Leaping out of the truck (surprised I put it in park) I called to them both.  Nothing at first, but as soon as I dropped to my knees they both came over to me.
However without collars on I could only get a hold of one dog at a time.  So Elly was picked up and put into the back seat, but before I could close the door she had jumped out again.
This time I grabbed a collar and slipped it over her head and put her back in the truck.
Hubba in the meantime was running around the truck looking all pleased with himself.
Putting him in the truck was a different story.

Collar on his neck I put his front feet on the floor to the passenger side front seat then lifted his butt up into the truck.  He would not however step up so I had to lift all 90 pounds of him up onto the seat.

I flew home put the first two into the kennel in the yard, grabbed a few dog cookies and ran out once more.

I seriously didn't think I would get so lucky again, but lo and behold when I turned down the first street there was all three of my kids running back towards home (yes, this is what I am telling myself).
Jumping out of the truck and calling to them I watched in disbelief as they all ran right past me, not even glancing my way once!!
Again I dropped to my knees and called Rigby while showing him the cookie... he thought about running ahead but at the last second he changed his mind and came to me tail wagging with a big grin on his face.

One in the truck it was time to get the other two.

Rocky came to me next in the same way Rigby did.

Penny on the other hand wasn't as willing to get in the truck, but she did come to me when I called her, again squatting down to her level.

With all 5 dogs back in their kennels I went inside and dropped on the couch which was when I noticed that I was dripping in sweat.  No.  Not just dripping I was drenched.
I also had to take a few deep breaths to slow my heartbeat down to normal again.

After a calming break alone in my quiet living room (and finishing off the last couple batches of cookies) I head back outside with hammer and nails in hand to fix and make the fence escape proof once more.

I'm sure there was some form of guardian angel watching over me and the dogs this afternoon.
I feel very lucky to have all 5 of my kids back home safe and sound.

One thing is for sure. 

We are never going through that again!!

June is Finally Here!

FML

I've seen this three letter expression on some of my young friends posts on facebook lately.
It is usually followed after some announcement of a dropped cell phone in water, or missing a ride somewhere.  I've also seen it attached to a comment about how all their friends are out on a Saturday night and they are not.

Life is worth giving up after these events?

I've been feeling sorry for myself lately and find myself teetering on the edge of that black hole of depression once again.
So many 'unfortunate' events have taken place lately and have piled up and around me that at times I find if hard to breath.

Money is the at the centre of almost all of my woes and after reading yet another "I can't find my iplad, fml" post on a social media sight I took a wide eyed open look at my life.

Sure I do not have a vehicle once again and have to bum rides to my second job.
I've experienced the water shut off in my home.
And I now seriously wonder where the money is going to come from to continue my dream of the race in the Yukon next March to the point of it may not actually happen.

However
I have my health.
I did not lose my husband to a serious illness.
I still have a roof over my head.
And I have two jobs that I love.

There are others who would look at my 'fml' posts and shake their heads at my troubles with the thought of, "you should try walking in my shoes"

I made a comment recently about how May can go 'Suck It" as I was ready to move on to a better month.

Well here I come June.
Let's see if we can move on and remember what we have rather than what we could have.

Missing This

I really do miss using this blog.... odd kinda feeling as it is not a person or a real place.

Yet here I am back on here telling you all I miss it.
I come on to 'Blogspot' regularly to read every ones posts yet I've been quiet myself.

I do have a new location to blog at www.outbackhuskies.com but I've been absent from there as well.

The decision to use both blogs has come to me through my monster that follows me through my life.  One that has lain dormant for quite a few  years now.
Fibromyalgia that sits waiting in the background ready to jump out and make an appearance.

I thought that my Outback Husky web site will be used for my training and all dog sledding related activities that have to do with heading to the Percy next year, and here will be for everything else.  I will link the two together so for those interested (usually just family) can see them both if they wish.

Today however I do want to leave you all with a health warning.

I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago now to have a filling replaced after it had broken in half  It was an older filling, one of those that we got as kids.  You know the metal ones that they say has mercury in them?
This dentist did not do anything special in ways of protecting me from ingesting anything that may come from drilling out the old filling.
Honestly I did not think about it myself until my Fibro began flaring 10 fold.

I have not had a flare in years now and was beginning to think that whatever had been wrong with me was not in fact Fibro but something that had been missed because of the diagnosis of said disorder.
Yet after speaking with a friend who just had all his mercury, uh metal fillings, removed and done so in a special way with drugs to help detoxify and keep the mercury out of their system AND then getting on the 'net' and researching mercury and Fibro I was left with an aha moment.

Thanks to my ever so wonderful dentist (who by the way has had to fix my tooth two times since the filing and will be seeing me once more to fix it still) he has set my Fibro off in the worst way.

I will be working at detoxifying my body myself using herbal remedies and diet now... and working hard at bringing my body back to a pain free state.

This truly sucks... having to deal with my monster at this time of my life.
I am too busy loving my job to take time off because of pain.... and I am way too busy running my dogs with the last of the spring snows to be missing it due to pain (which happened this weekend).

Let my experience be a lesson to all of you.
If you have the opportunity to have a metal filling removed have it done so by someone who knows what they are doing.

Here I Go

I've been lacking in keeping up with my 'blog' and for that I am terribly ashamed.  *head hangs in shame*

It was decided awhile back that I would use this page to record and share what I have been doing to prepare and train for the Percy that I hope to attend in 2014.
The problem with me, is when I become discouraged, I tend to back away from any form of writing.  Which only reminds me of how little I have done.
However if I am to take you, dear reader, on this adventure with me then I must be true with the ups AND the downs.

The word of the day, week, month(s) is discouraged.

I have been unable to meet up with the running group that I joined back in the spring.  The timing was off and I thought I could do this on my own.
Nope.
I have not been keeping up with my daily runs and although I don't feel out of shape my eating habits this last month have been terrible!!!!  Bad me!

The snows and ice have arrived making running a new experience, one that I plan to work on with 'Yaktrax' under my feet.  I can do this, I WILL do this!
With snow comes the joy of my cross country skis... so although I do want to run at the very least once a week, I also need to get out on the trails with my skis.

As the snow increases (fingers crossed) I will be able to finally take my fur kids out as a team and begin their training in full swing.  It has been hard owning only 1 scooter.. and our little quad has been out of commission... so there hasn't been an easy opportunity to run as a team yet... I'm dying with anticipation for my kids.

The biggest form of discouragement for me is not the physical training (we usually are not in full training mode until now as a rule anyway), but is the financial side of this adventure.

Raising dogs is an expensive hobby as most of you will know and it does not end with feeding and vet bills.    Feeding however is expensive when you have dogs that participate in this form of activity, like any high endurance athlete they need a well balanced diet.  
We have struck it lucky in the meat department this year however and a HUGE thank you must go out to a very wonderful family, the CHAPMANS, with their donation of last years meats from hunting... and a help in finding more from their hunter friends.  Our freezer is nicely stocked and helps our grocery bill towards the dogs tremendously!

AND our vet became our first business sponsor!  A giant shout out to the Didsbury Vet Clinic ... you have no idea how much you helped us out this season.. it's a massive relief in this household for sure.

Unfortunately there is still so much to raise money for.
Travel expenses are on going.  We have no choice but to drive to our training locations... most of which are more than 2 hours away if we want any form of mileage under our runners.   Races are also a day or two travel for us which also means accommodation and food for the humans.
The scariest expense for my big race in 16 months from now is the vehicle itself.  We will most definitely need something newer that we can trust to get us north to Dawson City.

Lines, new skis (which are a big need this year), harnesses, booties for the dogs, clothing gear for me, a pulk, and so much more... all expenses that I have yet saved up for... gulp.

Discouraged... you bet.
I truly need a second job in order to obtain this dream, but if that were to happen I'm not sure when I would fit the training in for myself or the dogs.

So, you may ask, what is your next step?
Letters.

The writing of lots of letters looking for sponsorship in many forms.   It seems to be the only way to get this dream up and running in full swing.
Once my dog boxes are painted we will have a ready canvass to advertise all our sponsors... I will even patch up my coats, ski pants, dog bags.. you name it.. we will be a roving advertisement board!

I love dog sledding and skijouring and wish it was a simple matter of just running dogs.  Racing  is also about business it seems.  At least if you are wanting to go further with your dogs.

Sitting here watching the snow come down, dogs laying around being couch potatoes, I cannot wait for it to build up on the trails so that we can get on the runners again....

Money aside... 

THIS is why I do this in the first place.

 

 

Well... here goes nothing then... the adventure to be blogged.. the good and the bad, it all belongs together. 

Here I Go.

 

signed, Rochelle, (yup, first time my names been mentioned on this sight) of Outback Huskies.

Natures Therapy

I've missed almost a week of running.  Either because of travel or from that stupid flu bug that decided to hit me out of nowhere.

Sitting here on my couch wrapped up in a fleece blanket in the wee hours of the morning I was starting to feel sorry for myself.  Wondering if I would be able to catch up with the group tonight as they have now surpassed what I have done.  
Questioning if I would be able to in fact make it through the entire 5K with how much I've missed.... My mind is a rotten tool when the negative worms bite in....

.... and that is when I looked up.

My camera did not do the colours justice.  There were bright oranges and deep blues, and it looked as though it been hand painted.  Breath taking.

And just like that I forgot about the negative thoughts floating around inside my head.  I may not be feeling top dog yet, but I can at least get off my butt and run some.

This morning the 'powers that be' gave me a simple nudge.  

Darkness is always followed by beauty.



Doubt

Doubt starts creeping in.

The door has been kept closed for the longest time, keeping this unwelcome guest out.
It's been a laid back kinda time as the belief in myself has been rockin' high on adrenaline.

Someone left the door open after the last party.
I'm pretty sure it was when self loathing tried to make an appearance and was kicked out for bad behaviour.
With the door open even the tiniest crack it wouldn't take much for doubt to slither it's way inside.

It hasn't helped that my ankle has been giving me grief for reasons I cannot explain.  Did I sleep on it wrong?  Perhaps it was the way I stood up out of bed? 
Whatever happened.... for whatever reason... I've pulled a ligament or muscle or who knows what.   Just when I think it's feeling better that sharp little stabbing pain hits to remind me that, not just yet should I be running on it.

Then in walks, no, what did I say? Slither.  Yes that sounds more true to it's nature.  In slithered doubt.

I've tried my best to ignore the negative things it has to say... turning my back on it, spending quality time with sloth (well I can't run so I may as well take advantage) this slow lazy weekend.
But darn it all, that doubt is sneaky.

So here I am again... working hard to cheer myself on.

100 miles is still almost 2 years away.
5K isn't really all that bad... you are up to15 minutes ... and it does work out to only another 15 minutes... you are almost there... sore ankle or not... you can do this.

Then there is doubt once again... "what if it takes longer than a few days to start running again"  "Maybe you're not running because you're using this as an excuse"  "what if you get hurt closer to the event"  "who are you kidding?  you're an old lady you know" "what were you thinking?"

I'm still working hard at doing my best to ignore this enemy of mine.... and it's hard.... I just need to try and keep my head up and remember it wont always be easy.... I guess I just thought it would be further into my training before this would happen.
IF it had to happen at all.

Set Back #1

I run three times a week with a running club and have been so proud of myself.

Even on Thursday when I wasn't feeling all that great I slugged through and got it done... if I had been alone I'm sure I would have quit before I was finished.

I have a mantra that I repeat when it gets hard.

"March 2014, March 2014, March 2014...."

Simply translated ...

"I can do this, I will do this, I can do this, I will do this...."

Sadly I have to report that I have hit my first hurdle.
At least that is what I think happened.
I awoke last night to a nagging pain in my left ankle.
It hurts like a son of a... but I don't know what I did...
hence the hurdle hitting....
 in my dreams....
 
I was suppose to run this morning... but I cannot, I will not.
Not wanting to do further damage to whatever it is that has been done...
So ice and rest it is.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be back out on the road again.
In the meantime.  I hate this.  I WANT to run!

How to handle a set back,

Ice
In a large glass
slowly pour bailey's over top
sip
enjoy

NOW!!!

Life is full of tough twists and turns and I've done well to hold my head up, take a deep breath, and carry on knowing that I can make it to the next junction safely.
Yet for some unknown reason something deep within my grey matter mis-fires sending me on a journey that is dark and bleak. I live with this daily.
Lately however I have been working very hard at keeping away from this direction... and without the help from any medical intervention.

There are many reasons to allow myself to fall into misery and sadness, but whose life doesn't include some depressing menace lurking just out of reach willing to bring you down into the darkness?   It's not allowing it to happen that separates us all.
Each and every morning I work on positive affirmations while mentally walking through my day.

It was a recent tragedy that was close to home, and the sad loss of a great uncle that I have not seen in years that made me start to seriously think about my time here.

I / We have no control over when, where or how we will die...

We cannot choose how.

Or when.

We CAN decide how we want to live.

I want to live each moment in the NOW.
I am not going to wish for things I do not have, what I have NOW is perfect.
Right NOW I have family and friends who love me, I will not worry about those who don't, they do not matter.

If I am dealing with my Fibro pain, it is ONLY right now... breath... and cuddle with dogs... it will pass.

And play... like a kid... get outside and make snow angels,  go for a walk, watch the sun rise, set or both, take a moon bath... just go out and enjoy what nature gives us for free.

I shall remember the words of a man long since gone....

If you are going through hell, keep going.
~ Winston Churchill

That all said... I'm going outside to play with my fur babies...

Have a wonderful, awesome, delicious kind of day!

Dog Sledding Anyone?????

Saturday was cool and perfect.
However  as our winter weather seems to have deserted us we have been very un-prepared to head out with the dogs.

So we spent the day organizing.

First the hubby and I head to the school grounds and trekked out a trail with our skis, it's not perfect but a hell of a lot better than what we have been using lately.... which has been nothing!
Our little circuit runs about a mile or so and loops around the ball diamonds and through a mini nature trail, lots of Haws and a few Gees. 
Most of the trail has some form of snow covering, not enough that I would skijour the route, but a perfect mini trail for training our puppies on.

I will admit that putting on skis and heading out without a dog(s) attached to the waist was a very foreign feeling and it took me a minute or two to figure out why I was not moving once the skis were attached to my feet... "oh right, I suppose I have to do all the work today"

Back at home.
Many chores await us.  From adding a section to our line for the extra dogs, to sorting our travel box, getting dog boxes on the truck and organizing the toboggan sled that we have not used even once this year (having borrowed our friends so far)

The puppies insisted on helping out with the sled.

"We're a big help, right mom?  See I'll make sure all the toys are out"

No Elly... you are suppose to be in FRONT of the sled, not on it.

"um, nope the view looks way better from here"

We ready everything and all of us, furry and not so furry creatures are very excited about our upcoming run.  However Saturday includes other normal household chores that needed to be carried out, so unfortunately the rest of the day was a complete right off when it came to dog sledding.

The plan then was to wake up early Sunday and head out while it is still cool in the morning.

This action did not work out too well for us.

7am and it was 5 degrees Celsius, and by 8 when the sun had finally lit up our world for the day it was almost 8 degrees.   Penny and Rocky do not do well in the above temps.

In fact I went outside with the dogs in my pj's, with no socks on my feet... and I was warm!

It just is not fair.  

"That's okay Mom and Dad, I still loves ya anyway!"

"Just don't let it happen again"





Just Like Dust, They are Blowing in the Wind

It is cold once again,  -30 degrees Celsius or for my American friends -22 Fahrenheit with the wind chill today,
but more importantly, snow has fallen.
Not a ton of snow, but that is okay as the weather man has promised more to come each day for the entire week.  If we are lucky our local race at the end of the month will be able to keep its promised date.

My pups have not had enough training miles under their belts harnesses to warrant competing in any races this season, however we are going to attend anyway and leave the chute last so we can use the trails as we do in training.  Run about 2 miles, stop and cuddle and rest for a tiny bit, then carry on nice and slow.
It is all about fun for my dogs, which is why I am not going to stress over the racing side of things this year, besides, I have 2 puppies that are still learning the 'ropes'.

Anyhow I digress, this is not why I'm on here today.

Winter winds are blowing, and have been doing some serious tree whipping this year that I believe it has affected my brain.
I love writing.
I blog, and have 3 journals on the go.
Random thoughts, stories, and.....well, just words.
Yet this season I have had a hard time putting any of these words down on paper or in print of any form.  I can see the words floating around in that head of mine, but something freezes up when I try to put them down in wrtten form.

Daily I pick up a pen and open my journal to find the pages blank.   I doodle and write the odd word here and there.. but nothing of importance.
I also open up here in my blog or on tumblr and find the words do not want to spill out of me as they have done in the past.

Is it because I have not done anything exciting lately?
Or is it due to a blockage from my brain to pen that is most definitely the fault of the wind.

Yes, that is it, let's blame it on the winds.

t
 h     
   ey  ar
            e
               blo
                    wing  my
                                  wor
                                         ds
                                                 aw                !
                                                      a           !
                                                         y!    !
                                                              !

My Dog Ate My Homework!!

Puppies will be puppies.

They are naughty as they learn their ranking in the pack.

They teeth so they chew.... everything!  Including holes through the carpet into the floor boards, sigh.

Thing is I am thinking that at 8 months old the teething should be pretty much finished... no?

Perhaps it is, or perhaps it is not..... in any case Rigby chews a lot.   It is pretty much non-stop in our house.

 He chews while hanging on the couch.

           He chews outside in the yard.   

                                                                                                He chews anywhere!!!!

Problem though isn't so much with the chewing, as long as he is chewing things that are human approved, the trouble lies in that when he is finished chewing he will actually swallow the item!!

I am qute worried about our Rigby.  Having a constant watch on what he is pooping and how much.  This dog has swallowed small chew bones, socks, mittens, strips of material, sticks, pieces of stuffed animals, bottle caps..... well you name it is has been swallowed!

I do feed my dogs... really I do.

So, if I ever tell you I've lost something because my dog ate it... believe me, he probably did!!

I'moldenoughitcanstopnow!

What the hell???

I am up early (what's new??) .. way too early.
Sitting here stewing over things that normally do not bother me.

Finally Hubby and the puppies awake and it's time to go out with the big kids for our morning walk/run play time.
I head up stairs to get changed into my play clothes and burst into tears.

Sitting on the edge of the bed I ask myself why... why in shits sake are you blubbering like a baby????!!!??
....and I answer myself with "I don't wanna go outside with the dogs!! I go out every day, morning and night, it's not fair that I have to go out every day!!"  There is a definite whine to my voice.

Getting up and wiping tears from my face I go and tell Ray he and the furry kids are on their own today.  I just am not going out.
Then I burst into tears again.

What in the world????

I haven't had to deal with these emotions flooding my system in months... I seem to have been on a good swing lately. 

Oh the joys of PMSing ... when will I stop this already?
I'm never gonna have anymore kids!
I'm old enough already for this to stop and go away already!

Fuck it... where's the chocolate???  WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?!!??
NO!! Wait... I don't want chocolate... I want... I want... crap! I don't know what I want....

oh bloody hell... here comes those tears again!!

Take me to my Happy Place!!

I've recently encountered someone who doesn't like me.

In fact I think this person down right loathes me.

Normally this sort of thing doesn't bother me, I'd shrug my shoulders and carry on.  After all in life not everyone is going to like every person.  I know I've met those whom I didn't care for and wouldn't want to spend time with.

This time however it does affect me in a personal way.  I don't want to go into details, but due to this hate on they have for me it has changed the way I do business in this particular field.  
That is what has bothered me.  The fact that I've let it change what I do.

An anger is building up inside me and I want to run down the streets with a bullhorn and let everyone know what they have been doing. I know things that only a couple of us know... a secret that could damage them in a huge way.
I want to.  But I wont.
That is not me..... and knowing who I am I know this negative feeling will pass, I will find it in my heart to let it go.

It has to happen because this anger is like poison in my body and I hate the feeling of it coursing through my veins.
Life is too short to feel so much enmity.

Still it bugs me to no end that this arse can get away with what they do.  I suppose soon enough they will be seen by others for what they really are on their own and will not need help from me.

So in the meantime I shall continue to breath in and out.
Close my eyes and go to my happy place.

snow, mountains, dogs, good friends, clear cool crisp skies.... my happy place.

It's MY Party

This is my blog... and I can talk about whatever I want.

So I am gonna bitch.

There is this pet peeve of mine, and it has to do with facebook most specifically, however it does pertain to other sites, such as twithead and tumblr and the likes.

It drives me beyond batty when I see simple grammar or spelling mistakes.

I get the posts that the author is raving and angry beyond seeing a straight line anymore... they spit out their venomous words without thinking rationally or clearly... so those I will forgive.  However I forgive them only for the errors in their ways of grammatical shame, not for attacking an acquaintance publicly for something that should be dealt with on a private level.

No, it is those simple errors that drive me to distraction.  I am one who will re-read a post to make sure that it is correct, and if I do make a mistake and catch it I will go back and fix it.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect in any way.  I have made my share of mistakes as well.  It is those who continually make mistakes that I want to hunt down and shake.

The biggest frustration I have is in those who publicly post that they have a problem... and then do another public cry for others to leave them alone.
You know the ones...  "FML!!!  I could kill the beotch!!"   The following comments read... "what's up?"  or "are you okay?" or "what is happening?".. to which the person whose life is so messed up due to another then replies.... "none of your business!!!" and/or "leave me alone!!"

Um hello stupid... you've just made a public announcement and others are worried or curious.. YOU started it in the first place.
If it IS no ones business then it shouldn't be splashed across the Internet in the first place!

There I've said my piece.. I feel much better now.

Time to go and put teh dawgs in they're bed so that thay can sleeping now.... (see?? doesn't that just drive you nuts??!!)