Then I Blinked

.... and in that blink everything changed.

Nothing will ever be the same.

My Mamma drives me crazy sometimes, like all Moms before her and those to come, she needs to know everything going on.  Always filled with advice and worried all the time.
Must be a 'mom thing'

Busy bee is my mother... once actually referred to as a drunk bumble bee.
When in the midst of people and at a function that she is a part of she will flit from person to person making sure everything is just right and that everyone is happy and taken care of.

Theater is her passion and she always wants us to come to every show she is involved in.  Us kids would sigh and go to shows with people on stage that we didn't even know all because she was the back stage manager, or she made some props.
We once told her that we would come to the shows but she had to have either directed it or be in it for us to attend.  So she had to find other ways to bring us in, like put her dog, Teddy, in a role on the stage.

As I have grown and had a family of my own I grew closer to my mom as more of a friend than a mother.  Although her worrying and fussing will always make her my mom.
She is the first one I call up when I have news to share be it good or bad.
Although I'm afraid that driving in to see my parents was low on my list of priorities as I love just hanging at home with my dogs and found the hour drive in to be a pain in my butt and brought the laziness out in me.  I preferred to talk on the phone or chat via the computer.

Just coming back from a big trip to China visiting our baby girl I couldn't wait to share my experiences and stories with mom and it was 4 sleeps until we could finally get together.
When she left here I was worried about her and the pain she was in, watching her leave, my sister and I commented to each other how we wished she would just go to a Dr and get her back looked at.

Then I blinked.

.... and in that blink everything changed.

                                                      I love you Mom, always and forever.

The Perfect Cup of Tea (aka Life)

Sitting here on a quiet holiday Monday, surrounded by my furry crew, keeping it pretty simple as we wait for Dad to come home from work.

I have a book that I write in, not quite a journal, yet not quite anything else that could be labeled. Skimming through it just now I came across a thought that I wanted to share.

It has come to me with perfect timing.

My Nana had some wise advice when I was younger that she shared with me and now I want to share with you.

Never squeeze your tea bag or it will make your cuppa bitter.

Always 'hot your pot' with warm water before making your actual tea AND there is nothing wrong with dunking a bicky, especially the good ones (digestives).

Sitting here with my tea missing this wonderful lady, it occurred to me that these tips for the perfect cup of tea have much to do with life itself.

Never squeeze your tea bag or it will make your cuppa bitter.

In other words don't force the tea to steep.  It will happen of its own accord.  Yes, some teas take longer to reach perfection than others but eventually they all get there.

Anything in life takes time and patience. Never rush it along or it could leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

In life, by speeding ahead, you could be missing the best of the flavours in whatever it is you are attempting to do.  Leave the frustration behind, sit back and everything will turn out perfectly the way it is suppose to in the end.

AND if I may add, not everyone has the same taste in the kind of tea they enjoy.  So what is most enjoyable for one person may not be for another.

Always 'hot your pot'

According to Nana by doing this you have a better pot of tea.

The right environment for the perfect cup.  Preparation is key to anything we do.  Even if it is just getting into the right mind set. Positive (warm) thoughts lead to a happier outcome.

And dunk that cookie, or bicky as my Nana called it.

If you want to add that sweet treat then do it.

Don't deny yourself. I'm not talking about food treats either, if there is something that will add to your day to make it perfect, then do it.

A simple nap to taking classes learning a new language.

If there is a 'treat' you want, go for it and enjoy it guilt free.

Oh, and sing always.

One fond memory of my Nana was how she always sang.

And why not?

Woman Sick

I'm home.

Sick in bed.

My entire weekend was ruined as I felt so crappy.  So sick.  So wasted.
Today, a work day, I'm still home in bed sick.

Home in bed.

That above statement probably brings visions of someone wrapped up under tons of covers.  Hot lemon water on the bed side table, bottles of medications and a box of Kleenex by their side.
Yes.
This IS true.  This is me (with a lap top nestled under the covers at this moment).  My head is throbbing (sinus) my ear has an inner ache that will not go away regardless of the amount of red, or blue pills I've been popping.  I'm achy and stuffy and the world is in a far away place right now.

However.

Yes, a however.

I have already washed a sink full of dishes.  (Sort of) played with the dogs, fed the dogs and put them into their runs.  I folded the towels in the dryer and put them away as well as put a blanket in the wash.  THEN came up to crawl into bed.

On Saturday I crawled into bed (I was really VERY sick then) and I did lay around all day sleeping and feeling as though I might die at anytime (two loads of laundry done in between the dying)... that is until 3:00 pm, at which time I head outside to let the dogs out of their runs.  I curled up on a lawn chair with a blanket wrapped around me throwing a ball for them to play with, and of course I picked up any presents that were left within the kennels.
At 6 I fed the dudes then made my way inside to do dishes and try to figure out what to make for supper.
Ray came home earlier than I anticipated and made something for dinner.  I died on the couch.

Sunday.  Floors were swept and washed which left me feeling as though I had just run 5K.  A movie was put on that I tried very hard to concentrate on, but everything felt as though it was deep in a tunnel.  Interestingly I got up to bake a batch of cookies... I think I was delusional at this point.  Cookies??  Seriously?
I pulled myself up, still in jammies and head outside to let the dogs out of the run.  I really don't think my head was altogether at this point.  Not sure why I didn't even get dressed.
Ray came out to take over and I went in to clean the bathroom... yup.... clean the bathroom.

I made the dogs dinner as well as our dinner.

What the?

Monday morning.  Up, dressed.  Ready for work.
Sitting on the couch feeling far away with the dogs laying around me.  A pain deep in my ear.  My cough not as bad as it was on the weekend.  My nose a little less stuffy.  I'm thinking.
I can do this.
I'm ready for the day.
I stand up.
Then think to myself.

What the hell?   Why will I not allow myself to be sick?

So here I am in bed.
I will let myself be sick.

Until 3:30 at which time I will head out to do dog chores once again.

In the mornings when it's cold out the dudes can lay on the couch and be sick with me.  A simple life, but it's mine... sick or not.

Ten Things that Make Me Smile

'What ten things make you smile?'  A question posted on a facebook page I follow Simple Life Celebrations.

A simple question, yet as I ponder my list of 10 I am struck by the fact that I have wayyyy more than 10 things that make me smile.

1.  This is first and foremost on my top 10, and that would be my family.  My kids, hubby, and extended family as well.  They are all in my life no matter how far they live and I'm proud of each one of them, AND they all make me smile.

 

 2. My dogs.  From cuddles and kisses to throwing the ball for Rigby.  Just hanging with my fur dudes in the yard every day makes me smile.

 

3. And speaking of dogs, playing in the snow and dog sledding with them makes me smile.  Just thinking about being on the back of a sled brings out the grin in me.

 



 4. A good cup of coffee and good company.  They don't have to be together and some may argue this is two smiles in one.... and you're right they don't HAVE to be together, but they are best as a pair

 

5.  Friends.  I have so many who mean so much to me that they all bring a smile to my face.  

  Friends who live far

 Friends who live close

         

 

6. Cotton Candy, well if you know me you will understand this best.  I think it should be a food group actually

 

 

7. New shoes.  I don't understand how you can't smile with new shoes on your feet!

 

 

8.  Fresh clean sheets on my bed.  I love crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head when I've put new sheets on the bed.

 

9.  Daisies. They always make me smile.

 

 

10.  Just thinking about my kids.  I know I've mentioned family already... and I have a million simple things that make me smile, such as doing nothing, or a warm summer night, or a cool brisk winter afternoon, or... well you get the idea.   However my kids mean the world to me and just thinking about them makes me smile.

 



What is your list of smiles?



 



Alive

It has been awhile.

I think about writing all the time.  I DO write with pen and paper, but have avoided and neglected my blogs for some time.

It is not from lack of 'things' happening in my life.
Nor is it from depression.

I've just been,
                     well,
                            living life.

Spring has arrived here at Outback Huskies and thankfully it has been dry and warm out.  As I write this 3 of my fur kids lay at my feet in a peaceful slumber.
The others are outside enjoying the warmth of the sun.... which is where I will be once this has been published.

I just felt the need to pop in here and share my favorite song with you all.  I'm betting if you go back a ways here on this blog you will find that it was already shared.  To me, it is worth sharing over and over again.

Edwin - Alive

 

 

I should probably share a teeny bit of my spring break with you all as well, especially since many of you followed my adventure in the Yukon with Randy.

Instead of heading somewhere warm and tropical we ventured North to Fort McMurray.

 A city of close to 77,000, which sits on the Athabasca River, was originally established by the Hudson Bay company in 1870 as a trading post.  Today it draws attention, good and bad, due to the oilsands.

It is also home of Randy Mackenzie and his plethora of animals.

 

On our way up there we met Fred and his lovely wife, Diane for lunch and a visit.  I would love to spend more time with them both... what a wonderful couple. 

I loved our visit with everyone... Randy and Carol were the hostesses with the mostesses and I could have spent way more time up there.

Not only did I get to meet up with the Canine team again, but I was introduced to the many animals that Randy rescues, finds homes for and keeps himself.

We 'almost' brought home a baby ourselves... it was a close one.... if we had more land for sure as these babies are going to be rather large when full grown.

 Mommy and Daddy to the pups with Ray and Randy.

 

 

          

Luckiest Girl in the World

I feel so lucky.

I am so blessed.

I wake up every morning, albeit much too early, and think to myself,  'today is going to be a wonderful day.'
And why wouldn't it be?

A supportive loving family (even though some of you are so far away).
Incredible friends from all walks of my life (again some of you are too far away!)
A fantastic job with the best co-workers ever.

There is a roof over my head that doesn't leak,,,well,,, most of the time.
Food in my cupboard... although at times I think there is more dog food than human.

I have the best dogs ever and we go out together 3 times a week and weekends now that the snow is here building trust and sharing a love so deep that unless you own a dog(s) you wouldn't understand.

The puppies sharing their love.

 

I have put in place a training schedule for the winter... one I think will be easy and fun to keep in place.
Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights after work we will head out onto our local trails.  We now have access to two of them and this excites me.  

One is our race trail that we do consistently the same way each time so there are no surprises for my pups come race day.   The only difference is the weight we keep on the sled to help build muscle in their wrists and shoulders.

The other is on a friends property... it is a section of farm land that has a series of trails set up to help us build our listening skills and leader skills as I can change directions each time we head out.. a new trail every time.

Weekends are for races or to head into the mountains for longer more exciting and prettier trails.

It is easy to drop a training day.. a Friday if we have race for example.... but it's easy to keep to our runs now that I have a dog truck that all supplies are kept in.  Just load dogs, water and away we go!
On Monday my daughter and I came home from work.. pulled on snow pants, filled water buckets, and loaded dogs into the truck.. we made our way to the race sight..ran the 4 mile trail.. water and snacked the fur kids then headed back home..... the entire process took about 1 1/2 hours from start to finish.
I would like to add another 4 miles starting tonight.. so... another 20 minutes or so... nothing in the scope of an entire day. 

I love running dogs... the feel of the runners under my feet... the power of the dogs ahead of me... the silent communication between us all.... the excitement they share before a run and the joy they have across their faces when we are done.
Sharing this sport with my family and friends is top on my list it is not something to be kept secret. 
And with us needing weight on the sled it's a great excuse to share the joy.

I must say my luck this year is also extended to Miss Mother Nature... or Old Man Winter... thanks for the snows and cooler temps this year that have decided to stick around thus far... we couldn't be happier!

Fall, do you See what I See?

Fall is probably at the top of my list for favorite time of the year.

Everything is fresh.
The air is cooler with the nights becoming a little bit longer hosting skies that begin the dance of the Aurora Borealis.

A smell that is different.
Cleaner?
Fresh, crisp, alive. 
Drying leaves, wet earth and warm apples fresh from the tree

There is a look that is... well, it looks... hmmm... the only way I can think of describing what I think of the way fall looks is to imagine a young boy fresh from crawling out from under a large pile of leaves.  Cheeks red from the cool air, eyes sparkling with excitement after the leap into the soft yet crunchy bed that was laid out before him.  A trusty canine friend running in circles around the boy, who is wearing a big woolie sweater with matching mittens and hat, tail wagging in anticipation for the next run.

Trees not quite bare but empty enough to let the fall sunlight come through, reflecting the light of the yellow and orange leaves that are still hanging on, reaching out for the last warm rays of sunshine.

Sounds change this time of year also.  The leaves dance wildly bumping into each other as they work hard to hang on for just one more day.  A sing song of leaf toe tapping which comes to a climax when they flutter down to the ground sending out one last hurrah with a little slap as they finally make contact.
Geese saying their farewell for another year and Chickadees coming together for a choir of melodies echoed by the crows that have shown up to sit on the tree tops are just a small sampling of the fall music that surrounds me every day.

The quiet laid back sounds of summer ever so slowly are drowned out by fall, the birds, the leaves all brought to life by the winds.  A ruckus of sound that builds up only to be silenced after the first fall of snow.

This time of year also has taste.
No, I don't bend down and lick the ground or the trees.  But I do LOVE the taste of pumpkin pie which I seem to only eat this time of the year.

The dogs also love this time of year.  They are full of energy and craziness that is only subdued by a good run behind a scooter. 

And who doesn't like a run in the cool mornings that we now wake up to?

You Gotta Love Huskies

When they are shedding you REALLY have to love your husky!

My Penny decided to wait until fall to lose last years winter coat.. and although this picture doesn't do it justice she looks so scraggly.

Walking through the house tufts of hair are left behind as though she is leaving a trail to follow back the way she came. 

Yes she is ashamed... not of the mess she leaves behind but of the way she looks.  Her whole life she has been called 'Pretty Penny' and she just doesn't know how to measure up to that name now that she looks like a rag tag.  And before you suggest brushing her... I do... it matters not.  After a grooming as she is walking away you can see chunks of hair poof out magically.

So for now as we wait for Penny to finish her blow we shall live, breath, wear and eat husky hair.

Mid Life Crisis

You could call my tattoo a mid-life 'little red sports car' if you want.

However it has lots of meaning for me.

I suppose you could call it a mid-life crisis what with the fact that I am turning 50 in less than 2 years, but it is much more than that.

The tattoo itself represents my learning not to care what others think of me. 
I am me and will not/ cannot change who I am.  Either you accept me or you don't, that is your choice not mine.

It represents my dogs, obviously, and even though I used Rigby as the face it is in memory of any dog who has been with me throughout my life.
Family dogs as a child and dogs in my own home as an adult.  Dogs that are no longer here on earth with me, but in my heart, and dogs that cover me in kisses every day.

Rigby's face embodies the focus that he was born with.  An extremely focused dog which is something I dig deep for as I prepare myself mentally and physically for the big race in 2014.
I'm also pretty sure he will be one of three dogs along with me in the Yukon.

This tattoo also represents the dog powered sports that I love so much.  Be it behind the dogs with the belt and my own power of feet, muscle and cardio, or on a scooter, sled or skis... It is the fun and joy I share with my dogs.

Lastly it is all about adventure. 
Adventures that are all about the life we lead, allow ourselves to lead.
Now that I've hit my mid life it is ALL about adventure.  Whether it is going for a tattoo, running dogs in the mountains, attending sprint races, running 5K foot races or taking an incredible job in a middle school, it is all an adventure.

And I'm out to find more! 

Really? At Your Age?

Yes, really, at my age!

Someone asked me this today after I announced I was getting my tattoo.

My age.
I do not feel my age... I do not look my age... I do not act my age... what is age but a number anyway.

It's all in how you live your life within these numbers that really counts.

So I plan on...
Making new friends.
Hanging out at a park and playing on the swings.
Going to rock concerts, then coming home and listening to my music... LOUD!
Playing with my dogs in the yard.. on the ground, on all fours.. in the dirt, or the mud, or the snow.
Making snow angles.
Going to parties.
Acting crazy or silly with the kids.
Dressing how I want to dress (unless the boss has asked you to cover up a shirt.. hehe)

Dog sled, run road races, skijour, downhill ski, rollerblade, hike, ride the roller coaster, floats on the Bow...

in general go fast.. live fast... have fun...

and love.

Love my family
My parents, my siblings, my husband, my kids.. my in-lawish family, aunts, uncles, cousins..
Everyone... Love them now 'cause they could be gone tomorrow.

Love my life
My home, my job, my friends, my hobbies, everything about my life.. even the hard times because it is what makes me who I am.

Having said all that is it really important how old I am?

Besides... how old do you think I am?

MY Perfect Life

I am full.

Happy.

Not everything is perfect... show me a perfect life and you'll see boring.
Oh yes there are times I would love to live boring... who doesn't?

I am surrounded by family who supports and loves me.. although there are times I wish they lived closer.
My world is filled with doggy love, which is the best kind ever... full of adventure and naughtiness.
A perfect job with awesome co-workers... and amazing kids.
A roof over my head... even though it leaks in places it's mine.

As I sat here writing this my two younger pups came running up to me and knocked me down to kiss me tails wagging.  Laughing as I sat up Rigby started singing to me in his rather loud voice with a big smile on his face.
Now if that doesn't add to my perfect life I don't know what would?

I cannot wait to begin full fledged training with these two.  They love me unconditionally and would do anything for me.  I sense an amazing adventure awaiting for us.

Working hard at getting myself into shape, and having completed my first ever 5K race, it is becoming clear that this 100 mile undertaking on skis is a dream turning into reality.

If you want something bad enough, and you're willing to make sacrifices, you can do it.

But first

You have to believe in yourself.

Good Day Sunshine

The longest day of the year has come and gone having left us with 18 hours and 44 minutes of light. (although if you consider the nautical sunrise and sunset it was more like 21 hours)
I have a love hate relationship with the length of daylight that spills in though my window.  It's not the warmth or soul lifting that it brings into my life.  I crave sunshine no matter what day in the year.   I Love the way it warms my face on a cold winters day, or how it brings out the diamonds that lay on a field of snow.
No, it's the fact that I am already an early riser and don't really need the extra prodding to open my eyes at 4:30 in the morning that leaves me with a hint of displeasure.  
This could be fixed with darker blinds in my room.. but for those who know me, that'll never happen.

I will admit however that this last week of early rising has been a gift as I sit watching the sky change into the most magnificant colours to announce the coming of a new day.
Having to watch it through my living room window covered in the art of doggy nose prints added to my happiness as I was reminded of what a wonderful and full life I have.

Has it been aging that has finally let me see the joy in life?
Or can it be as I physically become healthier my mental health too has improved?

I have now run 5K more than once and have been so proud of myself.
I'm not quite ready to do the entire distance in one shot, however I do have to remind myself the location I am training on is all hills.   With my running group last night I did 10 minute runs 3 times.. it ended at the bottom of the long hill that is a killer everytime I run it... At the top of this hill is the 5K mark and it would have taken me all of 5 minutes to finish it..
I just couldn't find the energy to do it last night.

The sunshine that I crave and love was beating down upon me making it hard to breath as my sweat soaked through the t-shirt trying to cool me.  
We haven't had much heat as of late and I found it hard to complain, but it was the main reason I could not find the reserves that are usually buried deep down to run that hill one more time.

Knowing what I have accomplished in just 2 months time has led me to believe that I WILL be able to prepare for 100 miles on skis with my dogs.
And thinking ahead about the training season with my dogs I can only smile and feel a bolt of excitment rush through me.  What fun we are going to have!! 

Here I am not even 24 hours away from the longest day of the year and the first day of summer and I'm already longing for winter!

My motivation for the day....

Oh, why not.... the song of the day...

My Job, yes, You Should be Jealous

Lately I've been obsessed with my running and training for the Percy... it's all I think about (or so it seems).
And why not?  What an adventure!  I tingle deep down with excitement just thinking about it.  After all the dogs and I will be running a small section of the Yukon Quest trail... *squeal!!*

As for my running, that also has me excited.   I never thought I could be a runner... and here I am in less than a month almost ready to run a 5K without stopping.

Who woulda figured at this point in my life at 48 years old I would be heading for an incredible adventure and in the best shape ever.

However that is not all that is happening in my life.
It is as if everything is falling into place.   The jigsaw puzzle of who I am is filling in nicely, the picture is clear now, and it makes me smile.
The section that is finally crystal is my job.
I LOVE my job.   It is one that I am re-hired for yearly and I cross my fingers that I will return for many more to come.

The staff, my co-workers, are an amazing group of people that take their work seriously.  It makes me feel so incredibly overwhelmed to think that my kids were educated in this atmosphere, but also opened my eyes to how and why they ended up where they have today.... I've got to say that we are incredibly lucky in this small town to have a fabulous group of dedicated teachers from K to 12.

My job. 
I go to work daily knowing that I will smile often.  I enjoy the children I work with, they are able to baffle me and some will challenge me, yet they all amaze me. 
I get to be a mentor yet at the same time am able to act silly and be goofy if the situation allows for it.  It's like being paid to be a Girl Guide leader and I LOVE it!!

Speaking of which... I'm off to get ready for a super, wonderful incredible day now... and it begins with a run which means it will be a perfect one.

Things to be Grateful for

I read an article recently that said one of the keys to happiness and to help keep depression at bay was to write down 5 things you are grateful for every night before going to bed.

It stated that a study had been done that had proven those who completed this act were less likely to fall into depression than those who didn't ... there are more details here if you feel like checking it our yourself.

I started this a few nights ago and set up a rule for myself in that I should be able to do this without repeating myself.... which is hard to do when I want to put my kids on the top of the list every day...

My first 5 things I am grateful for were so easy...

1. My kids (ha, told you they were at the top of the list)... my kids bring joy into my heart just by thinking about them.  I am so proud of them and although they are so far away I have enjoyed every moment of watching them grow into wonderful young adults.

2. My husband... my best friend.... seems to love me regardless of my bad days, or bad hair days, or bad anything days (almost)

3. My dogs.  They make me smile, they keep me motivated, they love me NO MATTER what! They also without complaint (and always with enthusiasm) pull me on a sled, skis or scooter leaving me breathless with incredible thrills every time.

4. My health... Fibro aside... I am incredibly lucky to be pretty darn healthy... without it I wouldn't be able to pursue my dream in 2 years

5. My job.... I LOVE my job.  I couldn't have ended up working for a better place.  The people I work with are wonderful, there is no one there that I can say makes me uncomfortable or someone I wouldn't want to work side by side with... and the kids are a joy every day... yes, even on those bad days.

Five things to be grateful for... it is hard to stop once you get started...

My Mom.
My Dad
My Sister
My Brother
My grandmother
My Mother-in-Law
My aunts, uncles, cousins...
FAMILY

Friends!!!! 

Internet
My house
My truck
My new runners
sour candies
popcorn
microwaves
cell phones
buttons
zippers
blankets
fleece pants


You get the picture....

The hardest part is deciding what 5 to get started with

I challenge you all to start your own list at bedtime for the next month.... lets see if we can pass the happiness on.

CAN

A very wise friend of mine once said that CAN'T stands for Certainly Are Not Trying.
I've quoted this phrase many times since as I completely believe it.

This morning I saw this photo up on facebook

My first thought was.... this is great, here is my inspiration for today.

Then I got thinking about it a little more and CAN'T popped into my head.   What exactly can I not do?  I suppose if my thought process was, "geez if I cannot fly to space today then I suppose I am not gonna go for my run tonight"

However if I look at it in the form of WHERE I am right now then I suppose I could say, "I am unable to run 5K at this time in my life so why bother running at all tonight"

But I WILL run 5K..... maybe not today, or even tomorrow..... but I WILL run 5K by the end of June.
I won't even talk about my future goal... it is too big right now and scares me too much to think about it... instead I will focus on the 5K race July 1st.

This quote is more appropriate.

Take baby steps along the way and in the end you will have reached your goal

Daily Motivation

This getting myself (and dogs) into shape and eventually ready for the 100 mile race I wanna do on skis is going to get harder (in my own head) as I move forward.

So I thought that if I work on motivating myself daily it may actually keep me moving forward and positive and at the same time will be a record of my journey that I can look back on.
I've decided to do it here in public as a blog making me accountable for the work that is set out in front of me.
The other members of my 'adventure' team all live too far to meet daily or even weekly for training so by using a public forum of sorts it will keep me from sliding backwards and even help me get over any walls I may encounter.

This journey that I am embarking on is exciting, yet I know there will be set backs and if I can remember to think of these as stepping stones forward then there will be no reason to stop.

 So today I begin simply

Missing You

Someone once told me that I should never look back.

The past is done, forget it and move on .............. move on, yes.............. forget it, no.

Today there is so much that I miss.
Could it be because it is my first Friday off this year with no plans?
Perhaps it is that Spring smell that fills me when I step outside with my fur kids.
Most likely it is having just spent an incredible week with my baby girl out east and missed seeing my baby boy who was so close, yet so far from me.

I miss my kids.

For over 21 years they were my life.
Everything I did was with them in mind.
They consumed me.
I loved every minute of it.

I knew that they were going to leave... it was my job to prepare them and theirs to spread their wings.

However there was no warning for the empty feeling that would be left after they had moved on.  Although that emptiness is filling with pride for all that I see them accomplishing on their own.

I still miss them.

I also miss my other baby lately... my business that I sold (almost 2 years ago now!!)
I miss my work family.
Staff and regulars, they made up a huge part of my life, and I miss them all.

 I have a new 'work' family where I am still finding my footing and place... I love this job.  I am comfortable there and couldn't think of a better place to be.

Yet I still miss my Mugs family.

I shake this melancholic feeling and look ahead.
The next couple of years are filled with adventure and excitement that I find it hard to believe it is MY life I am looking at. 
How lucky am I?

I still miss you all.

And it's okay to look behind... at the memories.... and it's okay to miss you.

For I do... every day.

I Found Winter

There is a bond between myself and my dogs.  They know that I will keep them safe, feed them, love them and in return they give themselves to me and will go anywhere for me.

Standing on the runners behind their incredible power in one of the most beautiful places in the world I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. 

The only sounds being the soft clink of the clips against the collars and the padding of 20 dog paws in the soft snow.  

Making our way across the lake the sun crept above the mountain tops stirring to life millions of ice crystals that lay around us on the vast expanse of snow that stretched out before me.

The trust between myself and dog was apparent as we approached a fork on the trail we had never been on causing Hubba Bubba to look back at me making sure he was going in the right direction before pulling the team where he had been told, which made my chest swell like a proud parent.

The dogs were in turn rewarded with trails in the forest which were full of twists and turns as we clambered over a series of drifts that at times seemed 8 feet high.  Thrilling and exhilarating are words to describe our adventure and I think the dogs would agree as even they need something different than flat perfectly groomed trails to run.  Keeps us all wanting to come back for more.

Beautiful trails, fresh air, hanging with my five fur covered kids who love me unconditionally, having the company of my hubby and a friend who shares the same passion made for a day that I can only hope heaven will be like.

It only took 2.5 hours to get there

and I wish that we had gone every weekend.

Next year it will be one of my training spots... one of many. 

My only wish.... that it wasn't spring with the end of the season quickly approaching.

Full Speed Ahead

My horoscope today reads;

 

Today's New Moon falls in your sign, marking a turning point in your year. You are already preparing to make important changes, but have probably experienced a few false starts or setbacks in recent months. Although it might require another month or so to see significant progress, the intentions you set now confirm that the ball is rolling in the right direction. Be ready to start the next part of your journey because there's no going back.

 

I do not read my 'scopes regularly, nor do I take any advice from them.  It is more of a glance over and most of the time chuckle at what is foretold of my upcoming day. 

 

However I had to share today's astrological forecast.

 

My life is full of roads and pathways. 

Some are straight and paved with clear direction.

Most are cracked pavement, gravel or dirt ruts that seem to twist and turn with many sharp bends and forks with no signs telling me which way I should go.

 

I've recently taken a road that was void of travel. A path that not many have crossed, one that I will have to walk along with few who understand what obstacles I will encounter.

 

Scared?

A little.

 

I've started running and it isn't as easy as I thought it would be without dogs tied to my waist.

My diet has changed for the better and although I still cheat, it isn't big cheats and I don't feel bad when I've eaten that little piece of chocolate.

I have lost 15 pounds now.  So it is all worth it.

 

'Be ready to start the next part of your journey because there's no going back.'

 

This sounds ominous... yet excites me too.

 

I'm turning that corner ahead, and will do so with my head held high.... look out here I come!

 

Write it Out

Advice given to me as I cannot sleep.

Write it out.

You know... I honestly have not done any serious writing in what feels like forever now.
Lack of sleep has a tremendous influence over my brain.

Words trapped in my mind.

Filling my head, wanting – no - needing to come out and onto paper.   Trouble is every time I try to write anything down nothing flows.
It comes out as gibberish, making no sense.
I just cannot get it out of m head, which is filling up by the second.

Soon, one day soon, it is going to explode into a jumble of nonsense making me look as though I have joined the ranks of the lunatics.

Iwannasaysomethingbutjustcannotfindthewaytodoitanythingreallyatallwilldorightaboutnow!!!

And what are words anyway?

Letters that are strewn out in a random order that at times make no sense at all.  Seriously how does one know why the knight known as the Colonel  of the Gnomes would want to reign this colony?   Especially when it rains at night in the city of Nome while the corn kernels get covered in fungi.

Where’d that come from???

See what I mean about needing to get words out on paper?

Or in print?
Or just out of my head.

There is some serious shit floating around in there.