Sunday, August 28, 2011

Summers End

Sitting outside this morning with my furry kids I became aware of how cool the morning air has become.
There is a crispness to it and a smell that speaks of fall.

The dogs themselves have picked up on this as play time and walks have a feeling of urgency that means one thing... they are extra hyper.  You could say that the instinct to run, their blueprint of what they were bred to do is coming to the surface, with the colder temperatures comes the urge to run.
"You coming mom?  Lets go runnin'!!!"

And although I'm just as excited as these guys to get running again and to be standing on the back of a sled or on my skis once again I am also feeling rather sad this year.

Summers end also means my kids have both moved on and away.  My baby boy has already forged his path into the big city and is loving every moment (well, almost every moment) and my girl leaves tomorrow night to return to her 'home' on the east coast.
I am going to miss them so very much.  The house gets so lonely without them here, and so do my arms.

Summers end also means it is time to say goodbye to the warm days we have (finally) been having.  I've loved laying in my hammock drifting in and out of sleep while the dogs play or lay beneath me. 
Although we only got out once this year the end has come to the lazy day floats down the Bow River with my bestie and the sharing of secrets.

This summer also marks the end of tiny puppies.  I swear that with the colder mornings the pups have stretched their legs over night.  Teenagers is what they are quickly turning into and a new fun time with them begins, but I will miss that cuddly puppy time.  I know I've said this once before, but it is meant for real this time when I say... No more puppies for me!!

My furry babies turn their backs on being puppies as not only their legs stretch but as they try so hard to be just like the big kids.

This ending also includes the leaving of a job while I search for and hope to get a new career re-started.
So many changes are happening that I try to hang on to the last days of summer, willing it to slow down even just a little.

However this fall does bring promise.
Promise of a great adventure with a best friend from the past as she comes to visit me from across the country for a week (oh the trouble we shall find!!)
Promise of a new job with new and old friends.
Promise of a successful and fun year sledding and skijouring my furry kids while we seek out new trails to explore.

A new season full of promise sounds like a good plan to me.

For now though, I think I shall enjoy the laid back days of summer.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Thank you for Being a Friend

I'm sitting at the computer enjoying a morning cup of coffee (thanks Ray!) before diving into the task of cleaning my house (it is in a desperate state I'm afraid)
My morning ritual of computer play which takes me to my personal e-mail account, facebook (where I have to play a game or two), youtube (I admit, I'm addicted to that stupid site) then on to my blog.

My thoughts this morning keep heading to a friend who is having a pretty invasive surgery this morning, and although I know she will do just fine I can't keep my thoughts off of her.
This led me to start thinking about all the friends I have in my life today and from the past..... and am I a very lucky and blessed person or what?

I could not imagine going through life with no friends at all, or even only one or two.

Granted, there are only a few that I could share my deepest darkest secrets too, but that isn't all that a friend is for and I think I have a well rounded selection of friends that if I was in need they would be there for me (as I would for them)

So I would like to take this time to thank you all.

To family... my hubby, kids, mom and dad, sister and brother, aunt and uncle.. although you are family I consider you to be my number one friend(s) as well. 

To my Besties... I have a few of these... to say I have one best friend is way too hard for me to do...
There is my high school buddy, my childhood friend, my bestie from grade 12, my wine sharing bud from Drum.. these are the four friends from my past whom I'm still in touch with today and when we get together it is always a special time.
My neighbour 4 doors down from the past "gonna borrow a cup o sugar, which takes 2 hours to do" friend who I would call my trouble making, adventure seeking friend.
Guides created two very close friends for me, 1 moved away the other drifted due to work.. but I still feel very close to them and always enjoy and love being with them when we do get the chance.
And my first buddy from town.. our kids grew, work changed and we also drifted apart.. I'm hoping FB will bring us together again as the few times we've had a moment to chat it always feels as if nothing has changed.

To my scrapbooking friends... I never ever see some of you but once or twice a year at a retreat or a workshop, but when we get together I always have a good time and we share a good laugh. I'm always bummed if I cannot attend one of these events because I know I'm missing out.

To my dog sledding friends... I would say this is my most active circle of friends these days, and hardly know where to begin.... The lead dog, or the true Dog Father, (you know who you are)... The family who got us addicted to this in the first place,  those from the committee, those who don't own sled dogs but are involved anyway (used to be me, so watch out!), and all the internet dog sledding friends I've met lately.. which brings me to...

To my internet friends... these are many! Some of you I have met, if only once or twice, others I have never met in person yet I consider you to be my friend.  Through you all we have solved world issues and shared diet tips.  We have shared silly ridiculous stories that I doubt were ever true to sharing our heartbreaks and sorrows.

and then there is Mugs and workplace friends... This is my biggest circle of friends yet... from past employees whom I have gained true friendships from all ages, to past regulars who came to my store whom I am still in contact with and meet for coffee on a regular basis, to other business owners one of whom in particular that I have gotten quite close with.

I'm sure I've missed some, which doesn't make the friendship any less important to me, it just means my brain has not the capability to think of anymore categories to put everyone in.

Matters not, friends are what makes me who I am... without you all I wouldn't be the well adjusted, perfectly calm, law abiding citizen that I am today... wait!  How wrong is that statement?!?
Without you all I wouldn't have all the fun that I have in my life.

Without you all it would be a pretty boring dull life.

Thank you for my wonderful life friend.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Done Like Dinner

I put a resume out for a job that I really REALLY wanna have.

I probably wont hear from anyone about it until sometime next week.
It is not guaranteed, and as they start the re-hiring for the upcoming new year I sit at the bottom of the totum pole un-sure that the call will even come.

Yet with all that uncertainty I still left my current job.
There needed to be new staff in place before I left and it could be a last minute walk away... so as I'm such a nice person I resigned ages ago...
I finished training my replacement yesterday and walked out into the world of unemployment.

I'm so scared, we are already cash strapped as it is and now I have no income!!
Well I suppose that is not entirely true..... I deliver flowers, scoop ice cream, and am doing enumeration starting next Friday..... I still have room for odd jobs if anyone is looking to hire for random hours.... and my new job (being ever so optimistic) doesn't start until September sometime.. if it's the job I want then the second week I believe.

Yet with all that uncertainty I still feel pretty proud of myself.  To be able to make a life changing decision and then act on it, knowing that I could be left open to look for something new, it's kinda exciting actually.

I will miss my 'kiddo' she was an adorable sweetheart and the last couple of months we had a blast together... lots of giggling going on in that stupid car (I hated driving in the end)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Who Said Being A Mom Was Easy?

I`m a mommy.

What does that mean exactly?

Exactly?   I carried my children in my womb for 9 months - although if you want to be exact and technical that has nothing to do with being a mommy either.  There are many woman out there who carry a child within their bodies and for reasons too numerous to get into here the child is taken with love into another home which then transforms someone else into a mommy...

So exactly?  How about the lack of sleep that comes with caring for a new born (sleep like a baby, my ass).  Or sleepless nights hovering over a sick toddler or young child.... and again the sleepless nights when your teenager takes the car out with his/her friends for an evening... and once again as a young adult when they take off to adventures and do not respond to texts leaving you wondering if they are okay..

However it is not just lack of sleep that makes a mommy ... but you now have a mental picture.
What about the skills one gains as a mommy.
Let me explain.

I can say with confidence that I have the ability to walk into any hospital and take on the role of nurse.  I have experience in, but not limited to:
split foreheads (twice), stitches, scraped knees, deep splinters, high fevers, broken arms (twice again), various bodily fluids, removal of tonsils, respiratory distress syndrome, broken fingers, bruises, sprains, ear infections, throat infections, fingers caught in machines not meant for human body parts, and many other ailments that this tired mommy brain has chosen to bury deep within the memories.

Psychologist as I have dealt with broken hearts, depression, anger, in general mood swings that could rival anyone who is labeled extreme bipolar (those with teenager girls will know what I am talking about).

Guidance Councilor when the kids began the decision process of what they want to be when they grow up which starts at about age 4 and carries on well into adulthood (heck I`m still trying to figure that one out myself!!)

Chaperon/Taxi Driver... well this one needs no description other than adding... music lessons, karate, football, Guides, Cubs, Dogsled Races, School field trips, band trips, honour band, field hockey, baseball, etc. etc. etc.

Then there is teacher, personal assistant, executive chef,  housekeeper, accountant, computer operator... should I go on or does this sum it up nicely?
We all know this, it's been written in many blogs before mine, it is even recorded in child rearing books.  Books written on "How to..." from infant to the teenage years.  I'm serious, if you say there is no handbook on raising a child, I dare you then to go to Chapters and walk down the isle on parenthood... wow is all I can say.  You should see all the books out there... from raising a genius to raising a child with some incurable disease, kids who are perfect to kids who have social disorders... it's all there...
If you read them all then heck fire, you could have any kid and know what to do perfectly!!


In any case, I did it the Au natural way.  Used my head and intuition.  Listened to my heart more than my head and followed the strings that attach me and my kids.
For those who don't know what I mean I explained the strings in a previous blog here.

There is one aspect of raising kids that I don't think is written in a 'how to' book.. and that is the part when they leave.
What it will feel like, how much it hurts... the strings pull and tug and rip and stretch... and it does physically hurt the heart.

I had someone recently say, you have to let them spread their wings.
Heck yes, I had no intention of them hanging around this little town they were raised in, I myself do not want to be here forever.
It has nothing to do with letting them fly on to new adventures, in fact I encouraged it.  It has everything to do with how quickly time passes us without a warning.

One day I'm sitting with my kids with me while we watch Disney on tv.. go to a water park .. or set up tents or movie theaters in the living room and play make believe to having to let them leave in an old beater of a car that they plan to drive across the Country in and build a new life with very little money and lots of fun and adventure.... or to finish up school a few thousand miles away with no direction other than to move to Amsterdam in the next couple of years.
Both of them so far away with their dreams.

It is the suddenness of the whole thing that hurts the most.

Empty Nest? 
Yes they have both spread their wings, if that is how we want to say it, and have flown on to their own lives far from home.

Here I will stay, for now, always here for them when they need a hand, an ear, a shoulder... any body part and it is theirs for them at any time.... and they know it.

A page in life has been turned and a new chapter revealed.... however I place the book mark in the center and close the book.
Not yet, I'm not ready to read on... let me take a moment to look back and swim in the memories first.

Friday, August 12, 2011

#$%^@ Trains!!

A quiet night on the prairies.
No sounds can be heard as the moon lays dark shadows amongst the brush.
I hear an occasional puppy yip as they change positions in their bed of straw and complain to each other for the interruption of their slumber.

Far off in the distance I hear the lonely call of the train. 

For most people this is a sound that stirs memories of the past long forgotten, a time when the world was simple.  I've heard someone say that it always brought a smile to their face and a shiver down their spine.
Myself I do not feel or think such things.  Maybe once long ago I would have agreed, but not so anymore.

Instead I find that my back becomes tense.  Anger spurs from deep within helping to build the childlike frustration that wraps itself around my very soul.
At 2 in the morning as the train fast approaches  with the whistle increasing in volume I have these visions that turn to hope.

I'm not wanting anyone to get hurt.. but a turned over train would mean a day or two of reprieve from the never ending train whistle.
A 'noise' that is heard many MANY times through the night and into the early morning hours.
A noise that sets my little pack of dogs off on a howling frenzy.

I am positive they are complaining rather than singing to the whistle that interrupts their sleep.
And I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if our Hubba Bubba could actually learn to howl instead of his shrill bark that sings along with the others Husky Howls.
As the singing continues while the engine passes our house my visions of de-railing trains increases.

As does my anger and frustration.
We learned recently that a CP Rail employee lives on the other side of the tracks from us and his fellow engineers will blow the whistle long just for him...
This knowledge does little for the pent up anger that builds within me for the train... stupid trains.

We asked what it would take to stop the whistles in town.  A letter from town is all that is needed.  Crossfield did it.  And don't tell me it has anything to do with fencing, because it does not.. drive through Crossfield and you'll see.. no fence... no train whistle..

NO train whistle... now THAT is a dream worth having.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Where Were You 27 Years Ago Today?

Where was I August 11 1984?

First let me pour my thoughts over the number 27, which has many references...

One which came into the news most recently when Miss Winehouse passed into the 27 club, not the happiest connection to 27.

However other examples are;

*The total number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet (22 regular letters and 5 final consonants)
*The current number of Amendments to the United States Constitution
*The code for international direct-dial phone calls to South Africa
 *The name of a cigarette, Marlboro Blend No. 27
*Alternate name for The Hunt, a book by William Diehl
*The number of the French department Eure
*Abbé Faria's prisoner number in the book The Count of Monte Cristo
*The number of species Captain Jean-Luc Picard has made contact with in the series Star Trek: The Next Generation
*One of the anthropomorphic math symbols Lisa Simpson imagines talking to her in The Simpsons episode "Girls Just Want to Have Sums", which, instead of offering the expected pun-based aphorism, rather unhelpfully only says "twenty seven"
*In Steven King's novel "It", It returns every 27 years to Derry.
*27 is the number of bones in the human hand. [3]
*Darryl Sittler's jersey number is 27

However in my life 27 is attached this year to a special event that takes place today...

So to answer my own question... where was I 27 years ago today?

Getting married to the man of my dreams surrounded by many family, friends and complete strangers (yup.. there were some people at our wedding that I actually didn't know!)

27 years married to my hubby.
Love you H.M.
Wonder what we will look like 27 years from today?
Still looking smokin' and hot I would expect!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

I Need Help!!

In more ways than one!!

My son is leaving this weekend and I keep breaking down into tears as I try to clean my house on the one day off I have.

AND I miss winter... I know, I know... is she nuts??!!??
I must be.

I will admit I'm loving the warm weather (when we get it) and laying in the hammock with the dogs playing around me, the sun shining down on me (when we get it).

But I do miss the winter and the games the dogs and I play... I look forward to running pups in the snow again... only approx. 60 to 70 sleeps to go!
In the meantime I'll just have to watch this video of my pups running the Rosebud Run Trail.. however this video makes me sad as I miss my Molly bad as well as missing winter.

Monday, August 1, 2011

August Rush'ed'

August has arrived.

I have been dreading this month for some time now.  Yet it arrived anyway.
A month full of emotions.

Happiness as I spend all my moments with my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly talented children.

Joy as I not only spend time with my fantastic kids, but also watch as all 5 of my furry babies play together as a team.

Pride in my kids in how well they've turned out, and also in myself as I work with the furry kids to get along.

Anticipation is present while I await news on a job that has been applied for and I want very much.

Fear if the job falls through as I have already given notice at my present position.

Courage as I face the unknown.

And now Sorrow creeps upon me with the imminent departure of my son... in less than 2 weeks.
I am not looking forward to this new chapter in my life.
I don't want my boy to leave. 
Yes, yes I know, let the kids go, and in time I will accept this move as I did my girl when she left.
However I find this harder as I know that both my kids will be so far away, across the country. 
The worst part for me is the lack of funds that will allow for travel to go and visit easily.

Then there is Excitement that I feel for both my kids as they head out onto the path of creating their own lives away from mom and dad.  Bringing that other emotion of Pride back again.

For now though I wander through my days with a lump caught in my throat as we approach the date set for my sons departure.

I need time to slow down just a little please and thank you.