Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Are you Afraid of the Dark??

Something I'm afraid of.....Challenge #8

I could talk about my fear of bears... more specifically bumping into a grizzly bear on a trail with no one around, and nowhere to escape.. at night.  Is that specific enough?
I know I should be more afraid of the cougars out there, but there is something about a very large bear with big teeth, sharp claws and attitude that makes my skin crawl when we are camping.

Then there is dog sledding in the winter on some wonderfully quiet trail just my dogs and I enjoying a great run on a magnificent trail all alone.  The only sounds are the swishing of the runners, the panting of the dogs and the soft clink of the snaps.... when all of a sudden there ahead on the trail is a large moose.  Now that is something to be afraid of.  Hasn't happened to me yet, and I hope when it does that the moose decides to take off in the opposite direction.  It is all those stories that have been shared with me about those times when the moose does not go the other way that frighten me.

Then there is the small dark enclosed space issue that I could talk about as well.  I get the cold sweats just thinking about it.  I'm not a fan of elevators but can handle them as the ride is usually a short one.. and no don't talk about elevators breaking down between floors with me.. it's already stuck in my mind.
However it is the dark that has to be involved to really get me in a state of panic.  I once walked these tunnels with my girl in Halifax and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Why? No idea... I know there is nothing there, but there could be.

What really scares me is a thought.  Just one single thought and it can actually lead to very bad dreams.  "Something bad happening to my children"
By bad I mean physical harm.... I have had terrible dreams of this sort and honestly am not sure how I would handle it if this ever happened.
My kids are my everything.  I think about them everyday, wonder how they are doing and hope they are okay.
I'm not a suffocating mother, I've let my children go.  Yet I am there for them when they need me, with ready arms if they need a hug or an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on.  I also know that they don't need their mother all the time and I'm okay with that too... as long as they are happy and have that ear or shoulder in their partner or friend... then I'm happy.
I just hope for them to stay healthy and to live much MUCH longer than I do.

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