Running toward my Goal

I've joined a running club.

A club for those who love pain.

Somethings happened to me in the last week.... I LOVE running.
I never thought I would think this way.  Over the years I have tried to push myself to become a runner... and every time I hated it.

It hurts.

It's hard.

Either my motivation is perfect (100 mile skijour race in 2 years), or the right person has come along to show me how it's done properly.

Oh it still hurts.

And it's still hard.

I haven't run far yet.... it's all about baby steps, remember?  But what I have done I am very proud of.
Just you wait... July 1st I will be entered in and complete my first ever 5K run.

Empty Nest Mothers Day

My first Mothers Day without either one of the kids close by.

It sucked.

Funny thing is we don't really do anything for Mothers Day... not really... years ago we used to go to Phils for brunch, but that has fallen by the wayside as the kids grew... and honestly I think it only lasted a few years anyway.

Mothers Day used to be handmade cards and gifts made at school that the kids were so excited to give me when they were little.
As the kids grew it was all about me not having to make dinner or clean up the kitchen.

Now as my first Mothers Day has come and gone with both my kids so far away that an impromptu get together is impossible, I feel sad...  I did hear from my kids, my son phoned and my daughter texted me... it was nice, but not the same as being able to receive a hug from them.

Made me miss my kids like crazy.

Instead I sat outside with my fur kids as we celebrated Rocky and Penny's 5th birthday by enjoying the sunshine.

Penny spent her day sleeping in the shade

                                                                           Rocky sang his own birthday song

Things to be Grateful for

I read an article recently that said one of the keys to happiness and to help keep depression at bay was to write down 5 things you are grateful for every night before going to bed.

It stated that a study had been done that had proven those who completed this act were less likely to fall into depression than those who didn't ... there are more details here if you feel like checking it our yourself.

I started this a few nights ago and set up a rule for myself in that I should be able to do this without repeating myself.... which is hard to do when I want to put my kids on the top of the list every day...

My first 5 things I am grateful for were so easy...

1. My kids (ha, told you they were at the top of the list)... my kids bring joy into my heart just by thinking about them.  I am so proud of them and although they are so far away I have enjoyed every moment of watching them grow into wonderful young adults.

2. My husband... my best friend.... seems to love me regardless of my bad days, or bad hair days, or bad anything days (almost)

3. My dogs.  They make me smile, they keep me motivated, they love me NO MATTER what! They also without complaint (and always with enthusiasm) pull me on a sled, skis or scooter leaving me breathless with incredible thrills every time.

4. My health... Fibro aside... I am incredibly lucky to be pretty darn healthy... without it I wouldn't be able to pursue my dream in 2 years

5. My job.... I LOVE my job.  I couldn't have ended up working for a better place.  The people I work with are wonderful, there is no one there that I can say makes me uncomfortable or someone I wouldn't want to work side by side with... and the kids are a joy every day... yes, even on those bad days.

Five things to be grateful for... it is hard to stop once you get started...

My Mom.
My Dad
My Sister
My Brother
My grandmother
My Mother-in-Law
My aunts, uncles, cousins...
FAMILY

Friends!!!! 

Internet
My house
My truck
My new runners
sour candies
popcorn
microwaves
cell phones
buttons
zippers
blankets
fleece pants


You get the picture....

The hardest part is deciding what 5 to get started with

I challenge you all to start your own list at bedtime for the next month.... lets see if we can pass the happiness on.

CAN

A very wise friend of mine once said that CAN'T stands for Certainly Are Not Trying.
I've quoted this phrase many times since as I completely believe it.

This morning I saw this photo up on facebook

My first thought was.... this is great, here is my inspiration for today.

Then I got thinking about it a little more and CAN'T popped into my head.   What exactly can I not do?  I suppose if my thought process was, "geez if I cannot fly to space today then I suppose I am not gonna go for my run tonight"

However if I look at it in the form of WHERE I am right now then I suppose I could say, "I am unable to run 5K at this time in my life so why bother running at all tonight"

But I WILL run 5K..... maybe not today, or even tomorrow..... but I WILL run 5K by the end of June.
I won't even talk about my future goal... it is too big right now and scares me too much to think about it... instead I will focus on the 5K race July 1st.

This quote is more appropriate.

Take baby steps along the way and in the end you will have reached your goal

Daily Motivation

This getting myself (and dogs) into shape and eventually ready for the 100 mile race I wanna do on skis is going to get harder (in my own head) as I move forward.

So I thought that if I work on motivating myself daily it may actually keep me moving forward and positive and at the same time will be a record of my journey that I can look back on.
I've decided to do it here in public as a blog making me accountable for the work that is set out in front of me.
The other members of my 'adventure' team all live too far to meet daily or even weekly for training so by using a public forum of sorts it will keep me from sliding backwards and even help me get over any walls I may encounter.

This journey that I am embarking on is exciting, yet I know there will be set backs and if I can remember to think of these as stepping stones forward then there will be no reason to stop.

 So today I begin simply

Springing into Spring

What's that saying?
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I hate the spring rains..... okay.... specifically I hate the mud that grows in my grassless yard with 5 dogs.

So instead of hanging out miserable and bored we threw everyone into the truck with the scooter, headed off to the local walking park and ran!

I. Can. Do. This!

I feel physical pain deep within my stomach.

Breathing becomes a chore as I gasp for breath.

My palms become damp with sweat and as I wipe them off on my thighs I find myself doubled over feeling weak at the knees.

Breathe.... focus..... one breath at a time.
I drop to the floor on my knees... dizzy.
Breathe.... focus.... one breath at a time.

I received an e-mail today discussing a get together with the ladies who will form our group that will  be entering the 100 mile skijour race in 2 years.

This is real.

Excitment courses through me at the thought of such an adventure.
Fear takes over as I think of all I need to do to get myself and my dogs ready.

I'm so scared.

I can hardly breathe.

Breathe.... focus.... one breath at a time.

So I stand up.... legs apart to hold my balance and face my fears.

I can do this.
I will do this.
It's okay to be scared, not okay to give in to the fear and let it stop me.