My stomach is doing big time flip flops.
They call it having butterflies and I'm not sure why.
I think of butterflies as soft fluttering creatures that would almost tickle your insides if that is where they were floating about.
What I'm feeling is more like large toads pushing and fighting their way to find a more comfortable spot in my stomach.
I received an e-mail this morning that gave hint that there may only be 2 of us attending the Percy in 2014. I understand completely the reasoning for one lovely lady not attending, and then the other 2 as we have never gotten together with any of them as a group yet.
I'm pretty sure I still have 1 partner in crime, and my fingers are crossed this is to be. However I was also left with the realization that it could be just me attending.... and this is when the toads arrived, along with sweaty palms.
Doubt began to creep into my mind... can I really do this?
It's a huge undertaking for me.
We were suppose to all get together in Kimberly this weekend to learn more about Pulks and Pulka training... I've yet to try one... but they had to cancel the get together and move it to a later date.
I do live close enough to the wonderful family that was going to work with us that I can go up myself one weekend. Yet still sad as I was looking forward to getting together with everyone. I don't get much chance to talk 'dog' as I am sure the regular people I normally hang around with get tired or bored with my obsession.
Physically there is much to be done.
Early snows have helped with the dogs.
I just need to get myself to the gym and on my skis more often... I can do that.
Financially it's a giant undertaking.
But we always seem to find a way.
No excuses... I will push through all my doubt... I know I can do this. I know I can. I will.
It is going to be hard. This I know.
"It's suppose to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard ... is what makes it great."