Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Hole in my Heart

Sitting here on a Sunday afternoon... a lazy day for me.

My baby boy has been in and out all day, sitting in the living room with me, upstairs practicing his latest monologue, playing his guitar or outside with his pups.
Just having him in the house has been a wonderful treasure.

As much as I feel so much joy at having him around there is still a hole that fills my heart.  My baby girl is not here.
So far away.
Living her own life.. which she should.
I just wish it wasn't so far away from here.
I miss going for a walk with her, our talks and just having her here at home.

When did it happen?  My two babies growing up into these wonderful adults... both so independent... both needing to explore the world and travel away from home.

I'm so proud of them that they don't have that need to stay close to home (they both know I will be there for them always).  I'm glad that they haven't decided to settle, that they are seeking out their own paths beyond this little town.  I don't think there is anything wrong with this little town, I just think they need to discover the world before settling down here first.  ( they are both adamant they will never end up back in this small town) As much as I'm thrilled and proud.. I still miss my kids very much... and it makes my heart feel empty. No, not empty... more like there is a hole in it.

Life speeds on ahead not waiting for me to even catch my breath as my babies have so quickly grown into young adults.

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