Sunday, July 25, 2010

Boobs

To quote a young friend of mine:
Boobs create a very good first impression of someone.

I've now for the past 1/2 hour been thinking of this.  Not that I'm obsessed or anything,  but I now have 'boobs' on my mind.
This quote is so true.  I don't care if your male or female.... boobs are front and center and one of the first things you see....and impressions are what we are all about.... especially first impressions.

Hugemongous boobs...the triple F variety always leave me with a non-human impression... I never remember the person because I spend my whole time thinking "holy shit! Where does she buy her clothes? And how does she ever go bra less? or does she tip over without a bra? etc. etc. Sadly I am not entirely focused on what she is saying.... luckily I've only met a couple women in my life with this sad infliction. But I never get a great first impression of the person... just the boobs... sorry ladies

Spilling out the front of the tank top boobs..... it doesn't matter if they are of the large or small variety... I spend most of my energy keeping my eyes focused on the face while in conversation... finding they are drawn to the mountainous spillage going on below the chin.... I appreciate a nice set of boobs.... but find it unnerving when they are trying to escape from the top of a shirt while we are having a serious conversation.
I always wonder is it because these women have no real personalities that they have to make up for it somewhere.

The off kilter or bad bra boobs.... I hate meeting someone who hasn't the time or bother to make sure their boobs are not behaving symmetrical... like the spilling out the top my eyes are drawn to the one up or one down... thinking to myself.."do you not feel the one boob hanging down to your knees??"
I bet your house is messy, your life is a mess... and you just don't care.

Large man boobs.... yeah... get a bra.  These tend to only be on very very large men.... men whose breathing is hampered by the fat that hangs in the back of their throats.... usually my first impression is only.. .man your fat.
I am too... so I always feel bad for thinking like that.... okay.. I'm not hugely morbidly obese or anything...but still my first impression shouldn't be about weight....my bad.

Itty bitty titty club boobs....and I'm talking non-existent with only the nipple.... I've actually only met one person with this in my life.... and seriously it was only a nipple.... nothing else..... and I felt sorry for this person... i don't even remember if she was pretty... or what her personality was like.... 'cause I was focused on how un-feminine one would feel without any boob... being born without any boob....just a nipple. I wonder if these women feel like they are missing out on something.

However... I dream of owning small boobs.... the grass is always greener syndrome,
It would feel wonderful to never have to wear a bra.... or not worry about a shirt being too tight.. buttons straining.

So... yeah as you can see my morning has been filled with thoughts of boob..... do you think this has to do with not being breast fed as a baby?

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